Four Mystery Plays
GA 14
The Soul's Probation (Written 1911)
Scene 1
The library and study of Caaesius. Prevailing colour brown. Evening. First Capesius, then the Spirit Forms who are powers of soul later Benedictus.
Capesius (reading in a book):
‘By inward gazing on the Beingless,
And dreaming through the shadowy picture realm
Of thought, conformably to self-made laws:—
Thus erring human nature often seeks
To find the meaning and the goal of life:
The soul from its own depths would draw replies
To questions that concern the universe.
Yet such attempts are vain, illusory
E'en at the outset, and they lead at last
To feeble visions which destroy themselves.’
(Speaking as follows.)
Thus is portrayed in words of import grave
Through Benedictus' noble spirit-sight,
The inward life of many human souls.
Each phrase goes home destructive to my heart—
Unfolding truly mine own way and life
Until this day, with cruel vividness.
And should a god this very hour appear
Descending on me in a raging storm
And clad in wrath, yet could his threatening might
Not torture me with more appalling fears
Than do the Master's words, as strong as fate.
Long hath my life been, but its web displays
Nothing but pictures shadowy and dim
Which haunt my dreaming soul and fondly strive
To mirror truths of nature and of mind.
With this dream-fabric hath my thought essayed
To solve the riddles of the universe.
Down many a path my restless soul I turned.
Yet do I clearly see that I myself,
Was not the active master of my soul
When threads of thought along illusion's path
Spun themselves out to cosmic distances.
So that which I in my content beheld
In pictures, left me empty, led to naught.
Then came across my path Thomasius,
The youthful painter. He indeed strode on,
Upheld by truest energies of soul
To that exalted spiritual way
Which transforms human life, and makes to rise
From hidden gulfs of soul the energy
Which feeds the springs of life within ourselves.
That which awoke from out his inmost soul
Abides in every man. And since from him
I gained this revelation, I do count
As chief amongst the many sins of life
To let the spirit's treasure grow corrupt.
I know henceforth that I must search and seek
And nevermore allow myself to doubt.
In days gone by my vanity of thought
Could have enticed me to the false belief
That unto knowledge man aspires in vain;
And only failure and despair belong
To those who would lay bare the springs of life,
And were all wisdom to unite in this,
And were I powerless to reject the claim
That human destiny demands of man
That he shall lose his individual self
And sink into the gulf of nothingness,
Yet would I make the venture unafraid.
Such thoughts would be a sacrilege to-day,
Since I have learned I cannot win repose
Until the spirit treasure in my soul
Hath been unveiled to the light of day.
The fruits of work of lofty spirit-beings
Have been implanted in the human soul,
And whoso leaves the spirit seed to lie
Unheeded and decay, he brings to naught
The work divine committed unto man.
Thus do I recognize life's highest task;
Yet when I try to take one single step
Across the threshold that I dare not shun,
I feel my strength desert me, which of yore
Did pride itself on elevated thought,
And sought the goals of life in time and space.
Once did I reckon it an easy thing
To set the brain in action and to grasp
The nature of reality by thought.
But now, when I would search the fount of life
And comprehend it as in truth it is,
My thought appears as some blunt instrument;
I have no power, no matter how I strive,
To form a clear thought-image from the words of
Benedictus, though his earnest speech
Should now direct me to the spirit's path.
(Resuming his reading.)
‘In silence sound the depths of thine own soul,
And ever let strong courage be thy guide.
Thy former ways of thinking cast away
What time thou dost withdraw into thyself;
For only when thine own light is put out
Will spirit-radiance show itself to thee.’
(Resuming his soliloquy.)
It seems as though I could not draw my breath
When I attempt to understand. these words.
And ere I feel the thoughts that I must think,
Fear and misgiving have beset my soul.
It is borne in on me that everything
Which hitherto was my environment
Is crumbling into ruin, and therewith
I too am crumbling into nothingness:
An hundred times at least have I perused
The words which follow, and each several time
Darkness enfolds me deeper than before.
(Resuming his reading.)
‘Within thy thinking cosmic thought doth live,
Within thy feeling cosmic forces play,
Within thy will do cosmic beings work;
Abandon thou thyself to cosmic thought,
Experience thyself through cosmic force,
Create thyself anew from cosmic will.
End not at last in cosmic distances
By fantasies of dreamy thought beguiled.
Do thou begin in farthest spirit-realms
And end in the recesses of thy soul.
The plan divine then shalt thou recognize
When thou hast realized thy Self in thee.’
(Becomes entranced by a vision, then comes to himself and speaks.)
What was this?
(Three Figures, representing soul forces, float round him.)
Luna:
Abundant power is thine
For lofty spirit-flight;
Its sure foundation rests
Upon the human will.
Its temper hath been tried
By sure and certain hope.
It hath grown strong as steel
By sight of future times.
Thou dost but courage lack
To pour into thy will
Thy confidence in life.
Into the vast Unknown
Dare but to venture forth!
Astrid:
From cosmic distances
And from the sun's glad light,
From utmost realms of stars
And magic might of worlds,
From heaven's ethereal blue
And spirit's lofty power,
Win mightiness of soul;
And send its radiant beams
Deep down within thine heart;
That knowledge glowing warm
May thus be born in thee.
The Other Philia:
They are deceiving thee
This evil sisterhood;
They seek but to ensnare
By trickery and guile.
Thy gifts so seeming fair
Which they have offered thee
Will vanish into air
When thou wouldst hold them fast
With all thy human strength.
They lead thee on to worlds
Inhabited by gods,
Where thou wilt be destroyed
If thou mak'st bold to rise
Into their cosmic realm
With thy humanity.
Capesius:
It was quite plain that here some beings spake—
And yet it is most sure that no one else—
Beside myself—is present in this place.
So have I but held converse with myself
And yet that too seems quite impossible
For ne'er could I imagine such discourse
As here I listened to—
Am I still he was before?
(From his gestures it is plain he feels unable to reply ‘yes.’)
Oh! I am—I am not.
The Spirit-Voice of Conscience:
Thy thoughts do now descend
To depths of human life
And what as soul doth compass thee around
And what as spirit is enchained in thee,
Expands in cosmic depth,
From whose fulness quaffing
Mankind doth live in thought
From whose fulness living
Mankind illusion weaves.
Capesius:
Enough ... Enough ... Where is Capesius?
You I implore ... ye forces all unknown ...
Where is Capesius? Where is ... myself?
(Once more he relapses into a reverie.)
(Enter Benedictus. Capesius does not notice him at first. Benedictus touches him on the shoulder.)
Benedictus:
I learned that thou didst wish to speak with me,
And so I came to seek thee in thy home.
Capesius:
Right good it is of thee to grant my wish.
Yet it had scarce been possible that thou
Shouldst find me in worse case than now I am.
That I am not this moment on the ground
Prostrate before thy feet, after such pain
As even now hath racked my soul, I owe
To thy kind glance alone which sought mine own,
So soon as thou didst with thy gentle touch
Arouse me from the horrors of my dream.
Benedictus:
I am aware that I have found thee now
Fighting a battle for thy very life.
Since I have known full well this long time past
That thus it was appointed us to meet.
Prepare to change the sense of many words
If thou wouldst understand my speech aright,
And do not marvel that thy present pain
Bears in my language quite another name—
I call thy state good fortune.
Capesius:
Then indeed
Thou dost but heap the measure of the woe
Which casts me into gloom's abysmal deeps.
Just now I felt as if my real self
Had flown afar to cosmic distances,
And unfamiliar beings through its sheaths
Were speaking here. But this I took to be
Hallucination, spirit mockery,
And mourned that thus my soul could be deceived:
This thought alone kept me from breaking down.
Take not away my right thus to believe,
The only prop I lean on; tell me not
My fevered dreaming was good fortune; else
I shall be lost indeed.
Benedictus:
A man can lose
Nought else but that which keeps him separate
From cosmic being. When he seems to lose
That which in dreamy fantasies of thought
He misapplied to labours purposeless,
Then let him seek for what has gone from him.
For he will surely find it, and withal
The proper use to which it should be put
In human life. Mere words of comfort now
Were nothing more than clever play on words.
Capesius:
Nay—teachings that by intellect alone
Are comprehended, thou dost not impart.
Bitter experience has shown me this.
Like deeds which lead one on to lofty heights
And also cast one to abysmal depth,
Thy counsels pour a stream of fiery life
And also deathly chill into men's souls.
They work at once e'en as the nod of fate
And also as the storms of life and love.
Much had I sought and thought in earlier days
Before I met thee; yet the spirit's powers,
Creative and destructive, I have learned
Only since I have followed in thy steps.
The turmoil and confusion of my soul,
Caused by thy words, was evident when thou
Didst come within my chamber. Oft I felt
Much pain whilst reading in thy book of life,
Until to-day my cup of woe was full.
And so my agony of soul o'erflowed,
Spilled by thy fateful words. Their meaning swept.
O'er all my soul unrecognized, and yet
Like some elixir they revived my heart.
In such wise wrought they in the magic worlds
That all my clarity of sense was lost.
Then ghostly phantoms made a mock of me,
And words of import dark I seemed to hear
Issue from my distraught tormented soul.
I know that all the secrets thou dost guard
For human souls may not be written down,
But that the answer to men's doubts may be
Revealed to each according to his need.
So grant me that of which I stand in need;
For verily I must indeed be told
What robbed me of my senses and my wits
And compassed me with magic's airy spells.
Benedictus:
Another meaning hides within my words
Than that of the ideas which they convey;
They guide the natural forces of the soul
To spirit-verities their inward sense
Cannot be understood until the day
On which they waken vision in the soul
That yields itself to their compelling power.
They are not fruitage of mine own research;
But spirits have entrusted them to me,
Spirits well skilled to read the signs in which
The Karma of the world doth stand revealed.
The special virtue of these words is this,
Unto the source of knowledge they can guide.
Yet none the less it must be each man's task,
Who understands them in their truest sense,
To drink the spirit-waters from that source.
Nor are my words designed to hinder thee
From being swept away to worlds that seem
To thee fantastic. Thou. hast seen a realm
Which must remain illusion just as long
As thou dost lose thyself on entering it.
But wisdom's outer portal will be found
Unsealed to thine advancing soul so soon
As thou dost near it with self-consciousness.
Capesius:
And how can I maintain self-consciousness?
Benedictus:
The answer to this riddle thou shalt find
When, with awakened inner eye, thou dost
Perceive before thee many wondrous things,
Which shortly will be found to cross thy path.
Know that a test path been ordained for thee
By lords of fate and by the spirit-powers.
(Exit.)
Capesius:
Although their meaning is not clear to me
I feel his words at work within myself.
He hath appointed me a goal; and I
Am ready to obey. He doth not ask
For stress of thought; it seems that he desires
I should press forward with exploring feet
To find the spirit-verities myself.
I cannot tell how he was sent to me;
And yet his actions, have compelled my trust;
He hath restored me to myself once more.
So though at present I may not divine
The nature of the spell that shook me so,
I will not shrink from facing these events
Which his prophetic vision hath foretold.
Curtain whilst Capesius remains standing
Erstes Bild
(Ein Bibliotheks- und Studierzimmer des Capesius. Brauner Grundton. Abendstimmung. Capesius dann Geistgestalten, die Seelenkräfte sind; hernach Benedictus. Dieses und die folgenden Bilder stellen Ereignisse dar, welche mehrere Jahre nach der Zeit liegen, in welcher »Die Pforte der Einweihung« spielt.)
Capesius (lesend in einem Buche):
»Ins Wesenlose blickend mit dem Seelenauge,
Und in des Denkens Schattenbildern
Nach selbstgemachten Regeln träumend –:
So forschet oft des Menschen irrend Wesen
Nach Sinn und Ziel des Lebens.
Aus Seelentiefen will es Antwort holen
Auf Fragen, die nach Weltenweiten zielen.
Doch solches Sinnen lebt im Wahne schon
Bei seinen allerersten Schritten,
Und sieht zuletzt die Geistesblicke
Ohnmächtig sich nur selbst verzehren.«
(Das folgende sprechend):
So prägt in ernsterfüllte Worte
Des Benedictus Sehergeist
Die Seelenbahn gar vieler Menschen.
Vernichtend trifft mich jedes dieser Worte – –.
Des eignen Lebensweges Bild,
Sie malen mir es grausam wahr.
Und wenn ein Gott in dieser Stunde
Aus wilder Stürme Macht
Im Zorne sich mir nahen wollte,
Es könnten seine Schreckgewalten
Entsetzensvoller mich nicht quälen,
Als dieser Schicksalsworte Kraft.
In einem langen Menschenleben
hab ich gewoben nur in Bildern,
die schattenhaft sich zeichnen
im Seelentraum, der wahnbefangen
Natur und Geistestaten spiegelt,
und der aus seinem Traumgewebe
gespenstig Weltenrätsel lösen will.
Ich wandte nach so manchem Ziel
die suchende Seele rastlos hin –;
Doch klar muß ich erkennen:
ich selbst – ich lebte nicht in meiner Seele,
wenn wahnbetört in Weltenfernen
des Denkens Fäden hin sich spinnen wollten.
‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒
So blieb ein leeres Sinnen nur,
was ich in Bildern selbstgefällig malte.
Da trat in meine Lebensbahn
Thomasius, der junge Maler –;
Er schritt durch wahre Seelenkräfte
zu jener hohen Geistesart,
die Menschenwesen wandelt
und aus verborgnen Seelenschachten
entsteigen läßt die Kräfte
die Daseinsquellen schaffen.
Was ihm erwuchs aus Seelengründen –:
Es ruht in jedem Menschen.
Und weil es mir an ihm sich offenbarte,
Erkenn’ ich als des Lebens größte Sünde,
den Geistesschatz verfallen lassen. –
‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒
So weiß ich, daß ich suchen muß – ‒ ‒
und darf im Zweifel nicht verharren.
Es hätte früher meines Denkens eitler Weg
zur falschen Meinung mich verführen können:
vergebens sei des Menschen Forschungstrieb,
Entsagung nur gezieme allem Sinnen,
das nach den Lebensquellen strebt.
‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒
Und wenn als aller Weisheit Schluß
sich sicher mir ergeben hätte,
daß Menschenschicksalsmächte fordern,
als Eigenwesen zu versinken
ins wesenlose Nichts:
ich wagt’ es unverzagt. – ‒ ‒
Es wäre Frevel, so zu denken,
nachdem ich deutlich hab’ erfahren,
daß ich nicht Ruhe finden darf,
bevor der Geistesschatz in meiner Seele
das Licht des Tages hat gefunden.
‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒
Es haben Geisteswesen ihrer Arbeit Früchte
in Menschenseelen eingepflanzt;
und Götterwerk vernichtet,
wer ungepflegt die Geistessamen läßt verwesen. –
So kann ich höchste Lebenspflicht erkennen –;
doch will ich einen Schritt nur wagen
in jenes Reich, das ich nicht meiden darf,
so fühl’ ich, wie die Kräfte mir versagen,
durch die in hochmutvollem Denken
ich deuten wollte Lebensziele
in Zeitenstrom und Weltenweiten.
Einst glaubte ich, mit Leichtigkeit,
Gedanken aus dem Hirn zu pressen,
die Wirklichkeiten greifen sollten.
Doch jetzt, da ich den Lebensquell
im Wahrheitslicht erfassen will,
erscheint des Denkens Werkzeug stumpf –,
und machtlos quäl’ ich mich,
Gedankenbilder klar zu formen
aus Benedictus’ ernsten Worten,
die mir die Geisteswege weisen sollen:
(Das weitere wieder lesend):
»In deine Seelentiefen dringe ruhig;
und Starkmut laß dir Führer sein.
Verliere frühern Denkens Formen,
wenn du versinkst in dich,
um dich aus dir zu führen.
Ertötend alles Eigenlicht
erscheint dir Geisteshelle.«
(Das folgende wieder sprechend):
Es ist, als ob der Atem mir versagen wollte,
wenn ich erstrebe, solcher Rede Sinn zu fassen.
Und eh’ ich fühle, was ich denken soll,
ergreifen Angst und Schrecken meine Seele.
Empfinden muß ich, wie wenn alles,
was bis hierher im Leben mich umgab,
zusammenstürzen und in seinen Trümmern
zum Nichts mich wandeln müßte.
O, hundertmal hab’ ich gelesen
Die Worte, die nun folgen – – –:
Mit einem jeden Male ist
Nur finstrer die Finsternis
Um mich hereingebrochen.
(Wieder lesend):
»In deinem Denken leben Weltgedanken,
in deinem Fühlen weben Weltenkräfte,
in deinem Willen wirken Weltenwesen.
Verliere dich in Weltgedanken,
erlebe dich durch Weltenkräfte,
erschaffe dich aus Willenswesen.
Bei Weltenfernen ende nicht
Durch Denkentraumesspiel – – –;
beginne in den Geistesweiten,
und ende in den eignen Seelentiefen: –
du findest Götterziele
erkennend dich in dir.«
(Ohnmächtig durch eine Vision in sich versinkend)
(Zu sich kommend, das weitere sprechend):
Was war dies?
(Drei Gestalten, als Seelenkräfte, umschweben ihn):
Luna:
Die Kraft, sie fehlt dir nicht
zum edlen Geistesflug.
Sie ist gegründet
im Menschenwollen.
Sie ist gehärtet
von Hoffnungssicherheit.
Sie ist gestählet
von Zukunftsferneblicken.
Der Mut nur fehlet dir,
ins Wollen zu ergießen
die Lebenszuversicht – – –.
Ins weite Unbekannte
zu wagen nur, erkühne dich!
Astrid:
Von Weltenfernen
aus Sonnenfreudelicht –,
von Sternenweiten
aus Weltenzaubermacht –,
vom blauen Himmelsäther
aus Geistes Höhenkraft –,
erstrebe Seelenmacht
und lenke ihre Strahlen
in Herzensgründe;
erwarmend wird Erkenntnis
erzeugen sich in dir.
Die andre Philia:
Sie täuschen dich
die bösen Schwestern;
Sie wollen dich umspinnen
mit Lebensgaukelspiel.
Es wird zerfließen
der Gaben eitler Trug,
den sie dir reichen,
wenn du mit Menschenkraft
ihn halten willst.
Sie führen dich
zu Götterwelten,
und werden dich zerstören,
wenn du in ihrem Reich
das Menschenwesen
ertrotzen willst.
Capesius:
Es war ganz deutlich – – –
es sprachen Wesen hier – –
und doch, es ist gewiß – –
kein Mensch ist außer mir
an diesem Ort – – – –
– – – – – – – – –
So habe ich zu mir nur selbst gesprochen – – – ?
Auch das ist möglich nicht;
denn nimmer könnte ich ersinnen,
was ich zu hören meinte –
Bin ich denn noch,
der ich vordem war?
(An seinen Gebärden ist zu bemerken, daß er sich unfähig fühlt »Ja« zu antworten.)
O – ich bin – ich bin es nicht –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
(Geistesstimme, das geistige Gewissen):
Es steigen deine Gedanken
in Menschenwesens Tiefen.
Was als Seele dich umhüllt,
was als Geist in dich gebannt,
entschwebet in Weltengründe;
von deren Fülle
die Menschen trinkend
im Denken leben;
von deren Fülle
die Menschen lebend
im Scheine weben.
Capesius:
Zu viel ..... zu viel –
Wo ist Capesius?
Ich fleh’ zu euch,
ihr unbekannten Mächte,
wo ist ….. Capesius?
Wo bin ich selbst?
(Er versinkt neuerdings brütend in sich).
Benedictus (tritt ein. Capesius bemerkt ihn zunächst nicht, Benedictus berührt ihn an der Schulter):
Es ist mir kund geworden,
daß Ihr verlangt, mit mir zu sprechen;
so sucht’ ich Euch in Eurem Heim.
Capesius:
So gütig ist’s von Euch,
den Wunsch mir zu erfüllen.
Doch hättet Ihr mich kaum
in einer schlechtren Lage treffen können.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Und daß nach solcher Seelenpein,
wie sie mich eben traf,
ich nicht gelähmt am Boden
in diesem Augenblicke vor Euch liege,
nur Eurem milden Blicke dank’ ich es,
der meinen fand, als eure Hand
so sanft mich aus den Schreckensträumen weckte.
Benedictus:
Verborgen ist’s mir nicht,
daß ich im Lebenskampfe Euch getroffen.
Ich wußt’ es lange schon,
daß wir uns so begegnen müssen.
Gewöhnet Euch, zu wandeln mancher Worte Sinn,
wenn wir uns ganz verstehen sollen.
Und wundert Euch dann nicht,
wenn Euer Schmerz in meiner Sprache
den Namen ändern muß. ‒
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Ich finde Euch im Glücke.
Capesius:
So mehrt Ihr noch die Qual,
die mich in Finsternise wirft.
Ich fühlte eben, als wenn entflohen
das eigne Selbst in Weltentiefen wäre,
und durch des Selbstes Glieder fremde Wesen
in diesem Raume sprächen. –
Das ich solch Geistesgaukelspiel
als Wahn empfinden durfte,
und Schmerz mir war der Trug der Seele:
das hielt allein mich aufrecht.
O raubt mir solchen Fühlens Stütze nicht! –
Nennt Glück mir nicht, was Fieberwahn, –
soll ich nicht ganz verloren sein.
Benedictus:
Es kann der Mensch verlieren nur,
was ihn vom Weltenwesen scheidet.
Und scheint ihm erst verloren,
was er in Denkens Traumesstimmung
zu wesenlosem Dienst mißbraucht’,
so soll er suchen, was sich ihm entwunden.
Er wird es wiederfinden,
und dann es erst in rechter Art
Dem Menschenwerke weihen.
Zu trösten Euch in dieser Stunde,
es wär’ ein lehrhaft Spiel mit Worten.
Capesius:
Nein – Lehren, die Vernunft allein genügen,
sie sind doch wahrlich nicht bei Euch zu finden.
Ich hab’ es schwer empfinden müssen.
Gleich Taten, die auf Höhen führen,
und auch in Abgrundtiefen stürzen,
so strömet feurig Leben
und Todeskälte auch durch eure Reden
in Menschenseelen kraftvoll ein.
Sie wirken wie des Schicksals Winke
und auch wie Lebensliebesstürme.
Ich hab’ gedacht, geforscht,
bevor ich Euch begegnet; – –
des Geistes Schöpferkräfte
und sein Vernichtungswerk,
sie kenn’ ich erst,
seit ich in eure Spuren trat.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Was Euer Wort in meiner Seele angerichtet,
das fandet Ihr an mir,
als Ihr in meine Stube tratet.
Ich war zermartert oft
beim Lesen Eures Lebensbuches;
doch heute war der Qualen Maß erfüllt.
Und überfließen mußte meine Seelennot
Durch Eures Buches Schicksalswort.
Verständnis eurer Reden,
es bleibt versagt der Seele;
doch wie ein Lebenssaft
ergoß das Wort ins Herz sich mir
und wirkte Zauberwelten,
daß mir des Sinnes Klarheit schwand.
Gespenstig Wesen sah ich um mich gaukeln,
Bedeutsam dunkle Worte konnte ich
aus krankhaft irrer Seele tönen hören.
Ich weiß, daß Ihr nicht alles,
was Ihr für Menschenseelen hütet,
der Schrift wollt’ anvertrauen,
und daß Ihr manches Rätsels Lösung
je nach Bedürfnis an die Menschen wendet.
So gönnt auch mir, weß ich bedarf;
denn wissen muß ich,
was mir Vernunft und Sinne raubte
und mich mit luftig Zauberwerk umgab.
Benedictus:
Es wollen meine Worte nicht das allein nur sagen,
was als Begriffeshüllen sie verraten;
sie lenken Seelenwesenskräfte
zu Geisteswirklichkeiten;
ihr Sinn ist erst erreicht,
wenn sie das Schauen lösen in den Seelen,
die sich ergeben ihrer Kraft.
Sie stammen nicht aus meinem Forschen,
sie sind von Geistern mir vertraut,
die kundig sind der Zeichen,
in welchem sich das Weltenkarma offenbart.
Zu führen an Erkenntnisquellen
ist dieser Worte Eigenheit.
Doch muß dem Menschen es verbleiben,
der sie vernimmt im wahren Wesen,
zu trinken Geistessäfte aus den Quellen.
Und gegen meiner Worte Absicht ist es nicht,
daß sie in Welten Euch entrückt,
die Euch gespenstig scheinen.
Ihr habt ein Reich betreten,
das Wahn Euch bleiben muß,
wenn Ihr in ihm euch selbst verliert,
Das sicher aber aller Weisheit erste Pforte
für eure Seele öffnen wird,
wenn Ihr in ihm Euch selbst bewahrt.
Capesius:
Und wie kann ich mich selbst bewahren?
Benedictus:
Die Lösung wird Euch dieser Rätselfrage,
wenn Ihr mit wachem Seelenauge
euch stellt vor manche Wunderdinge,
die bald in eure Wege treten sollen.
Zur Prüfung seh’ ich Euch gefordert
Von Schicksalsmächten und von Geistgewalten.
(Geht ab.)
Capesius:
Zwar kann ich seiner Worte Sinn nicht deuten,
doch fühl’ ich sie in meinem Wesen wirken. –
Er hat ein Ziel mir angewiesen – –;
Ich will dem Wink gehorchen.
Er fordert nicht Gedankenstreben;
Er will, daß ich in Geisteswirklichkeiten
Die Schritte forschend lenke.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Ich kenne seiner Sendung Wesen nicht;
Vertrauen doch erzwingt sein Tun;
er hat mich wieder zu mir selbst gebracht.
So mag für diese Stunde
mir ungewiß auch bleiben
das Zauberwesen, das mich schreckte;
ich will mich frei entgegenstellen
den Dingen, die er mir prophetisch kündet.
(Vorhang, während Capesius noch stehen bleibt.)
Scene One
(A library and study belonging to Capesius. Brown background. Evening atmosphere. Capesius then spirit figures, which are soul forces; afterwards Benedictus. This and the following pictures depict events that take place several years after the time in which “The Gate of Initiation” is set.)
Capesius (reading a book):
"Gazing into nothingness with the eye of the soul,
And dreaming in the shadow images of thought
According to self-made rules –:
Thus the errant human being often searches
For the meaning and purpose of life.
From the depths of the soul it wants to find answers
To questions that aim at worlds beyond.
But such musings already live in delusion
At its very first steps,
And ultimately sees the glances of the mind
Powerless to consume only itself."
(The following speaking):
Thus, in words filled with solemnity,
The visionary spirit of Benedictus
Shapes the soul's journey of many people.
Each of these words strikes me with devastating force – –.
The image of my own life's journey,
They paint it for me, cruelly true.
And if a god in this hour
Were to approach me in wrath
From the power of wild storms,
His terrifying forces
Could not torment me more horribly
than the power of these words of fate.
In a long human life,
I have woven only in images,
which are sketched shadowy
in the dream of the soul, which, deluded,
reflects nature and the deeds of the spirit,
and which, from its web of dreams,
wants to solve the ghostly riddles of the world.
I turned my searching soul restlessly
towards so many goals;
But I must clearly recognize:
I myself – I did not live in my soul,
when, deluded by delusion, in distant worlds
the threads of thought wanted to spin themselves.
‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒
So only empty musings remained,
which I smugly painted in pictures.
Then entered my life
Thomasius, the young painter –;
He strode through true powers of the soul
to that lofty spirit
that transforms human beings
and from hidden depths of the soul
lets rise the powers
that create the sources of existence.
What grew in him from the depths of his soul –:
It rests in every human being.
And because it revealed itself to me in him,
I recognize as life's greatest sin,
letting the treasure of the spirit fall into decay. –
‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒
So I know that I must seek – ‒ ‒
and must not remain in doubt.
Earlier, my vain way of thinking
could have led me astray to a false opinion:
that man's urge to explore is in vain,
that renunciation is the only fitting response to all thoughts
that strives for the sources of life.
‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒
And if, as the conclusion of all wisdom,
it had surely occurred to me
that the powers of human destiny demand
that we sink as individual beings
into insubstantial nothingness:
I would dare it undaunted. – ‒ ‒
It would be sacrilegious to think so,
after I have clearly learned
that I must not find peace
before the treasure of the spirit in my soul
has found the light of day.
‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒ ‒
Spiritual beings have planted the fruits of their labor
in human souls;
and destroyed the work of the gods,
who neglect the seeds of the spirit and let them decay. –
Thus I can recognize the highest duty of life –;
but I will venture only one step
into that realm which I must not avoid,
for I feel my powers failing me,
through which, in arrogant thinking,
I wanted to interpret life's goals
in the flow of time and the vastness of the world.
Once I believed, with ease,
I could squeeze thoughts from my brain
that would grasp realities.
But now, as I seek to grasp the source of life
in the light of truth,
the tools of thought seem dull—
and powerless, I torment myself,
trying to form clear mental images
from Benedictus' solemn words,
which are meant to show me the paths of the spirit:
(Reading the rest again):
"Penetrate calmly into the depths of your soul;
and let fortitude be your guide.
Lose the forms of former thinking,
when you sink into yourself,
to lead yourself out of yourself.
Killing all your own light
the light of the spirit appears to you."
(Speaking the following again):
It is as if my breath were failing me
when I strive to grasp the meaning of such words.
And before I feel what I should think,
fear and terror seize my soul.
I must feel as if everything
that has surrounded me in life up to now
were collapsing and, in its ruins,
I must turn into nothingness.
Oh, a hundred times I have read
the words that now follow:
With each reading,
the darkness around me
has grown only darker.
(Reading again):
"World thoughts live in your thinking,
world forces weave in your feeling,
world beings work in your will.
Lose yourself in world thoughts,
experience yourself through world forces,
create yourself from beings of will.
Do not end in world remoteness
Through the play of thought dreams – – –;
begin in the expanses of the spirit,
and end in the depths of your own soul: –
you will find divine goals
recognizing yourself within yourself."
(Fainting, sinking into himself through a vision)
(Coming to himself, speaking further):
What was this?
(Three figures, as soul forces, hover around him):
Luna:
You do not lack the power
for noble spiritual flight.
It is founded
in human will.
It is hardened
by the certainty of hope.
It is steeled
by distant visions of the future.
All you lack is the courage
to pour into your will
your confidence in life – – –.
To venture into the vast unknown
– just dare!
Astrid:
From distant worlds
of joyful sunlight,
from vast starry spaces
of magical power,
from the blue ether of the sky
of spiritual power,
strive for soul power
and direct its rays
into the depths of your heart;
warming, knowledge
will arise within you.
The other Philia:
They deceive you,
the evil sisters;
They want to ensnare you
with the illusion of life.
The vain deception of gifts
will melt away,
they offer you,
if you want to hold on to it
with human strength.
They lead you
to the worlds of the gods,
and will destroy you,
if you want to defy
human nature
in their realm.
Capesius:
It was quite clear – – –
beings spoke here – –
and yet, it is certain – –
no one but me
is in this place – – – –
– – – – – – – – –
So I spoke only to myself – – – ?
That is also impossible;
for I could never imagine
what I thought I heard –
Am I still
the person I used to be?
(His gestures reveal that he feels unable to answer “yes.”)
O – I am – I am not –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
(Voice of the spirit, the spiritual conscience):
Your thoughts rise
into the depths of human beings.
What envelops you as soul,
what is bound within you as spirit,
floats away into the foundations of the world;
from whose abundance
human beings drink
and live in thought;
from whose abundance
human beings live
and weave in light.
Capesius:
Too much... too much –
Where is Capesius?
I implore you,
you unknown powers,
where is... Capesius?
Where am I myself?
(He sinks into himself, brooding).
Benedictus (enters. Capesius does not notice him at first, Benedictus touches him on the shoulder):
It has come to my attention
that you wish to speak with me;
so I sought you out at your home.
Capesius:
How kind of you
to grant my wish.
But you could hardly have found me
in a worse state.
– – – – – – – – – – – – –
And that after such mental anguish,
as I have just experienced,
I am not lying paralyzed on the floor
before you at this moment,
I owe it only to your gentle gaze,
which met mine when your hand
so gently awakened me from my nightmares.
Benedictus:
It is no secret to me
that I have met you in the struggle of life.
I knew long ago
that we would meet in this way.
Get used to changing the meaning of some words
if we are to understand each other completely.
And then do not be surprised
if your pain must change its name in my language. ‒
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I find you in happiness.
Capesius:
Thus you increase the torment
that casts me into darkness.
I felt as if
my own self had fled into the depths of the world,
and through the limbs of my self, strange beings
spoke in this space. –
That I was able to perceive such mental trickery
as delusion,
and that pain was the deception of the soul:
that alone kept me upright.
O do not rob me of the support of such feelings! –
Do not call feverish delusion happiness, –
lest I be completely lost.
Benedictus:
Man can only lose
what separates him from the world.
And if it seems lost to him,
what he, in a dreamlike mood of thought,
has misused for insubstantial service,
then he should seek what has eluded him.
He will find it again,
and then, in the right way,
consecrate it to human work.
To comfort you in this hour,
it would be an instructive play on words.
Capesius:
No—teachings that satisfy reason alone
are truly not to be found in you.
I have had to feel it deeply.
Like deeds that lead to heights,
and also plunge into abysmal depths,
so fiery life
and deathly cold also flow through your words
powerfully into human souls.
They act like the beckoning of fate
and also like storms of love for life.
I thought, researched,
before I met you; – –
the creative powers of the spirit
and its work of destruction,
I have only known them
since I followed in your footsteps.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
What your words did to my soul,
you found in me
when you entered my room.
I was often tormented
while reading the book of your life;
but today the measure of torment was full.
And my soul's distress had to overflow
Through your book's words of fate.
Understanding your words,
remains denied to the soul;
but like the sap of life,
the words poured into my heart
and worked magical worlds,
so that the clarity of my mind faded.
I saw ghostly beings flitting around me,
I could hear meaningful dark words
resounding from a morbidly deranged soul.
I know that you do not want to entrust to writing
everything you guard for human souls,
but that you apply the solution to many a riddle
and that you apply the solution to some riddles
to people as needed.
So grant me what I need;
for I must know
what robbed me of reason and senses
and surrounded me with airy magic.
Benedictus:
My words do not want to say only what
they reveal as conceptual shells;
they direct the powers of the soul
to spiritual realities;
their meaning is only achieved
when they release the vision in the souls
that surrender to their power.
They do not originate from my research,
they are entrusted to me by spirits
who are knowledgeable about the signs
in which the karma of the world is revealed.
To lead to sources of knowledge
is the peculiarity of these words.
But it must remain for the human being
who hears them in their true essence
to drink the juices of the spirit from the sources.
And it is not the intention of my words
to transport you to worlds
that seem ghostly to you.
You have entered a realm that must remain an illusion to you
if you lose yourself in it,
But which will surely open the first gate of all wisdom
for your soul,
if you preserve yourself in it.
Capesius:
And how can I preserve myself?
Benedictus:
The solution to this riddle will be given to you
if you stand with alert spiritual eyes
before many wondrous things
that will soon cross your path.
I see you being tested
by the powers of fate and the forces of the spirit.
(Exits.)
Capesius:
Although I cannot interpret the meaning of his words,
I feel them working within me. –
He has assigned me a goal – –;
I will obey his command.
He does not demand intellectual effort;
He wants me to direct my steps
and guide my steps in search of knowledge.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I do not know the nature of his mission;
yet his actions compel my trust;
he has brought me back to myself.
So for this hour
the magical being that frightened me may remain uncertain
to me;
I will freely oppose
the things he prophetically announces to me.
(Curtain, while Capesius remains standing.)