Esoteric Lessons II
The first result of our meditation is that we get a feeling for the fact that we strive for and make a connection with beings of the higher hierarchies, and that this should express itself in such a way that we feel that we're entering higher worlds, that we've arrived at the place where we originated; that's the way we should experience it. This feeling of being taken into the spiritual world should be warm and alive. One who wants to enter this spiritual world must tell himself: Everything must change in an esoteric — his concepts, feelings and knowledge must change. Let's take men's egoism — it's Luciferic beings who gave us memory. And while we're frugal in physical life, we waste an awful lot of soul and spiritual forces. We must become economical with these forces and transform them into perception forces. To do this, we must practice self-knowledge. We spray out our feelings and sentiments too selflessly from morn to eve. Therefore we must first go through egotism in soul and spiritual things. An esoteric is in danger of increasing his egoism here, and so a moral and intellectual catharsis of a man must accompany all true esoteric work.
We must realize that something impossible is being demanded of us esoterics, and that we're striving towards this impossible thing. For all striving is a striving towards the impossible, and it's also impossible to be unegoistical.
We must try to have the right feeling about all developmental striving. A craving for knowledge and progress is not the right thing. We should earnestly feel that it's our duty to develop, for the divine spirit has placed forced in us that he develops without help from us, but he has also placed active forces in us that a man must develop through deeds. It's the greatest sin against the divine spirit not to develop these forces that the Godhead has placed in us for the benefit of human evolution and progress These forces in us are so strong that they lead us up into the spiritual world, although it may take a long time. Therefore an esoteric should tell himself: “I'll wait, because I know that the forces in me will sooner or later lead me up into the spiritual world.” They do this if we're devoted to the spiritual world in the right way.
The accessory exercises develop the qualities in us that are necessary for the physical plane; these are controlled thinking, actions one chooses oneself, equanimity, etc. That way we'll gradually have a chamber in our heart, in our soul, in which we keep our most sacred things, in which we're esoterics, whereas as men we stand outside in the life. And so conflict with ourselves can be taken for granted; we must become fighters when we become esoterics.
Meditators complain that thoughts storm in and disturb them, and to this one can reply that it's beings fluttering around who storm in on us ever more strongly. Here one can only say: Be glad that this is so; this is the result of meditation and it shows you that thoughts are a spiritual power. Courage, fearlessness and confidence are qualities that an esoteric needs on his path.