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The Problem of Death
GA 161

5 February 1915, Dornach

Lecture I

In these days when death is so constantly a source of pain, I want to deal with certain aspects of Spiritual Science in connection with the problem of death. Today I shall give a kind of introduction to these problems; tomorrow I shall go more closely into the subject and on Sunday pass over from these problems to more general questions of the artistic conception of Life. This will then lead us back to matters connected with our Building.

Manifold indeed are the connections within which we are placed in life. Just as the life before birth is a preparation for its reflection in this life, so this reflection between birth and death is a preparation for the spiritual life which comes afterwards, between death and a new birth. The more we are able to carry over from this life into the life between death and a new birth, the richer may be the development in that life; for the actual concepts which must be acquired of that life, the concepts of the truths of existence between death and a new birth must be very different from the concepts we must acquire of earthly Maya if we want to understand this Maya. Some of the necessary concepts will be found in the lecture-course given last year in Vienna. (The Inner Life of Man between Death and a New birth.) You will find there what new concepts must be acquired for understanding the other side of man's life which takes its course between death and a new birth. It is often exceedingly difficult to work out the concepts and ideas that are applicable to this other kind of life, and in reading such a lecture-course you will realise that it has been a question of wrestling for terms which in some way give expression to these totally different conditions.

At this time especially when the deaths of very dear Members are occurring in our anthroposophical life, I want to call attention to the following.—

The part played in the life between death and a new birth by the moment of death is different from the part that is played by the moment of birth in our present life between birth and death. The moment of birth is that point which, in ordinary circumstances, is not remembered by the human being. In Ordinary life, birth is not remembered. But the moment of death is the point which leaves behind it the very deepest impression for the whole of life between death and a new birth; it is the point that is remembered most of all; in a certain sense it is always there, but in a quite different form from that in which it is seen from this side of life. From this side of life, death appears to be a dissolution, something in face of which the human being has a ready fear and dread. From the other side, death appears as the light-filled beginning of experience of the Spirit, as that which spreads a sun-radiance over the whole of the subsequent life between death and a new birth; as that which most of all warms the soul through with joy in the life between death and a new birth. The moment of death is something that is looked back upon with a deep sense of blessing. Described in earthly terms: the moment of death, viewed from the other side, is the most joyful, the most enrapturing point in the life between death and a new birth.

If, out of materialism, we have pictured that the human being loses consciousness with death, if we can form no true idea of the continuation of consciousness—(I emphasize this today because the incentive is community with dear ones who have recently gone away from us through death.) if it is difficult to picture that consciousness exists beyond death, if we believe that consciousness is darkened (as appears to be the case after death)—then we must realise: it simply is not true. The truth is that the consciousness is excessively bright and it is only because the human being is still unaccustomed, during the very first period after death, to live within this excessively clear consciousness, that there sets in, to begin with, immediately after death, something like a kind of sleep.

This state of sleep, however, is the very opposite of the state of sleep through which we pass in ordinary life. In ordinary life we sleep because consciousness is dimmed; after death we are, in a certain sense, unconscious because the consciousness is too strong, too forceful; because we live wholly in consciousness. And what we have to do during the first days is to live over into this condition of excessive consciousness. We have to find our bearings and orientation within this condition of superabundant consciousness. When we succeed in so finding our bearings that, as it were, out of the fullness of the cosmic thoughts, we feel: thou wast that ... the moment when, out of the fullness of the cosmic thoughts, we begin to distinguish our past earth-life within this abundance of consciousness, then the moment is experienced of which we can say: we awaken. It may be that we are awakened by an event that has been particularly significant in our earthly life and is also significant in the happenings after our earthly life.

It is, therefore, a process of getting accustomed to the supersensible consciousness, to the consciousness that does not rest upon the foundation and support of the physical world, but that is working and active in itself. This is what we call the “Awakening” after death. This awakening consists in the will stretching out to find its bearings, the will, which as you know and can realise from the lecture-course already mentioned, may unfold strongly after death. I spoke of will that is coloured by feeling, of feeling that is coloured by will: when this life of feeling that is coloured by will stretches out to find its bearings in the supersensible world, when the first sally is made, then the awakening has come.

If we want to think of the experiences that are connected with the problem of death, we must realise, above all, that the real being, the being who rules and weaves within man, is profoundly unknown to him. This true being is not only unknown in respect of the deeper side of a man's own hidden existence, but it is unknown too, in respect of many things that play very significantly indeed into the experiences of everyday life. We must be absolutely clear that even with the most important instruments of knowledge we possess for the physical world—with the senses—we look almost entirely from outside, and that in this looking from outside, what may be called our skin shuts us off from beholding our real, true being. As soon as we begin to judge of our true being, as soon as we try to form a picture of this true being, we are obliged to apply our intellect, our power of forming mental images. In the course of our development within the physical body, however, both these faculties are strongly influenced from the Ahrimanic as well as from the Luciferic side; and the nature of all these influences that are exercised from the Ahrimanic and Luciferic sides upon our intellect, in so far as it is bound to the brain, is such, that they are able in the highest degree to cloud the judgment we form about our own being.

All self-knowledge is really comparable with the extreme case I quoted in the last lecture, of the university professor who himself tells the story of how, in his youth, he crossed the street and suddenly saw coming towards him a young man with a dreadfully unsympathetic face; he tells of the shock he received when he realised that he was seeing himself through two mirrors that were revealing his own physiognomy, as if it were coming towards him. This shows that he had no inkling of his external appearance, which was exceedingly unsympathetic to him: I have told you how he narrates a second similar instance. But really it is no different with what we call our more intimate self-knowledge. Our Ego and astral body which set out on the journey through the worlds when the date of Death has been passed—these members of our being are removed from our sphere of observation during physical life, for when we wake from sleep the Ego and astral body are not revealed to us. They are not revealed to us in their true form but in such a way that they are mirrored by the pictures of the Ego and astral body that are sketched by the etheric body and physical body. Between sleeping and waking we should be able to see our astral being and our Ego in their true form if we were not in the unconscious condition of sleep. The dreams, too, which occur in ordinary life are only faulty interpreters of our real being, because they are, after all, reflections of what goes on in the astral body around the etheric body, and because it is essential, first, to understand the language of dreams if we are to get at their correct meaning. If we understand the language of dreams, we can, certainly, acquire knowledge about our true being from the processes of dream. But in ordinary life we are accustomed simply to accept the pictures presented by the dream. This, however, is no more sensible than if we were simply to follow the signs of printed letters and not really read at all.

Our true being is withdrawn from us during life between birth and death. We must realise here that in our astral body—and in our Ego too—there lie all those feelings and all those stirrings of will which lead us to our actions, to our deeds, but also to our judgments, to our conceptions of things in the world. There, in the depths of our being, there at the seat of our astral body and our true “I”, we have a whole world of emotions, a whole world of feelings, of impulses of will; but what we form in everyday life as our own view of these emotions, impulses of will and feelings, stand mostly—mostly, I say—in a very distant connection with what we truly are, in our innermost being.

Take the following case—It may happen in life that two people live together for a long time and that through the strange forces playing out of the unknown regions of the astral body and Ego of the one person into the astral body and Ego of the other (these forces remain in the hidden regions), the one has in relation to the other a real desire for torment, a kind of need for cruelty. It may be that the one person who has this desire for torment, this need for cruelty, has no inkling whatever of the existence of these emotions in the astral body and Ego; he may build up about the things he does out of this urge to cruelty, a whole number of ideas which explain the actions on quite other grounds. Such a person may tell us that he has done this or that to the other person for one reason or another; these reasons may be very clever and yet they do not express the truth at all. For in ordinary life, what we all-too-often picture as the motives of our own actions, indeed of our own feelings, frequently stands, as I say, in a very, very distant connection with what is really living and weaving in our inner being. It may be that the Luciferic power is actually preventing the person concerned from realising the nature of this urge for cruelty, of these impulses to do all kinds of things to the other person, and that under the influence of this Luciferic power everything he says about the reasons merely spreads a cover over what is actually present in the soul. The reasons we devise in our consciousness may often be cut out for hiding from us, disguising what is actually living and working in the soul. These reasons are too often of a character which indicates a desire for self-justification, for we should find ourselves just as antipathetic as the professor of philosophy of whom I told you. We should not at all like what is in our soul if we had to acknowledge what kind of instincts and emotions are really holding sway. And because we have to protect ourselves from the sight of our own soul-being, we discover, with the help of these reasons, all kinds of things that guarantee us protection, because they deceive us about what is actually the ruling force in the soul. Just as it is true that the external world becomes a Maya to us because of the peculiar character of our faculty to form mental pictures, it is also true that what we have to say about ourselves in ordinary life is, to a very, very great extent, Maya.

Certain instincts and needs of our innermost being in particular mislead us into constantly deceiving ourselves about our own being. Take the case of a person who is terribly vain, who suffers from a form of megalomania. Such people are by no means few in number. This is admitted. If, however, as described above, a mask were not laid over what really is in the soul, it would be much more generally admitted that vanity and megalomania exist in many souls who have not the very slightest inkling that it is so.

Megalomania gives rise to many wishes ... but when I say ‘wishes’, you must understand what I mean.—the wishes do not become conscious, they remain wholly in the depths. Such a person may wish to exercise a controlling influence upon someone else, but because he would have to admit that this desire for control over the other is born of vanity and megalomania, he will not admit it. He then appeals—unconsciously of course,—to those powers of seduction which Lucifer is able to exercise all the time upon the human soul. And under the unconscious influence of Lucifer, such a person never gets to the point of saying to himself: ‘What I have in me, producing the desire for action, is really vanity, megalomania.’ He never says this, but on the contrary, he will often discover, under the influence of Lucifer, a whole system for explaining the feelings of which he is darkly aware but the true character of which he will not admit. He may have certain feelings for some other person but he cannot acknowledge them, because what he really wants is to control this other person and he is unable to do so because this other person, perhaps, will not allow himself to be controlled. Then, under the influence of Lucifer the soul discovers a system, discovers that the other person is planning something malicious; the first person then proceeds to paint a mental picture of the details that are being planned against him; he finally feels that he is being persecuted. The whole system of judgments and ideas is a mask that is there merely for the purpose of covering with a veil what must be prevented from emerging out of the inner life of soul.—It is a real Maya.

In connection with a series of actions, a man once said to me that he had done them out of an iron sense of duty, out of infinite devotion to the cause he represented. I was bound to say to him in reply: “The opinion you have about the motives of your procedure and of your actions is no criterion whatever. Only reality is the criterion, not the opinion one may have. The reality shows that the impulse, the urge to these actions was to gain influence in a certain direction.” I said to the man quite baldly: “Although you believe that you are acting out of an iron sense of duty, you are really acting under the impulse to acquire influence and you misinterpret this way of acting as being selfless, done purely out of a sense of duty. You are not acting out of this motive but because it pleases you to act so, because it brings you certain pleasure—again, therefore, out of a certain inner impulse.”

Our opinion, our mental picture of ourselves may be extremely complicated; it may not resemble in the very remotest degree what is really dominating and weaving in the soul. It may be extremely complicated. You will admit at once that such things must be known when it is a question of living in a world of truth and not in a world of Maya; you will also admit at once that it is necessary now and then to speak of such things in a radical way! The reasons which as genuine, true reasons, drive us to our actions, can only become clear to us slowly and by degrees, when through Spiritual Science, we really have knowledge of the secret connections existing between the human being and the world.

Let us take a definite case,—You will all know that there are people in the world who are called gossips, chatterboxes. If we ask these chatterboxes why they flock together in their cafes or elsewhere and talk, talk, talk, talk (they often talk a great deal more than they can answer for,) we shall hear many reasons why it is necessary for them to discuss this, that or the other. We can get to know people whom we then meet rushing along the street, hurrying somewhere or other in order to arrive quickly ... and when we find out what they are after, we discover that it is nothing but the most futile, useless, silliest chatter. If such people are asked about their reasons, they will give reasons which often sound exceedingly laudable and fine, whereas the most that can be said is that these reasons are well able to conceal the real facts of the case. And now we will consider these “real facts of the case.”

What is happening when we gossip or chatter? (when we speak, it is, of course, the same.) What is happening? Through our organs of breathing and speech we set the air into movements which correspond with the forms of the words. We generate in ourselves those physical waves—and naturally the corresponding ether-waves too, for when we speak something very significant is happening in the etheric body—we generate these waves in the air and ether which corresponds with our words, which give expression to our words. Picture it quite precisely to yourselves: While you are sitting there—no, pardon me, not you!—while a man is chattering with his cup of coffee before him on the table, he is bringing his whole inner organism into movement, that inner organism which corresponds with the form of expression, with the external physical and etheric form of expression of his words. Something is actually welling up and weaving in him; he generates this in himself, but he also is aware of it, he feels it. He feels this self-movement of the physical and etheric bodies because the astral body and the Ego are continually coming up against it. The astral body is continually coming up against the ether-waves and becoming aware of them; and the Ego is continually coming into contact with the physical waves of the air; so that while we are speaking, astral body and Ego are continually contacting something, touching something. in this contact, in this impact, we become aware of our Ego and of our astral body, and the most agreeable sensation the human being can have is that of self-enjoyment. when the astral body and the Ego contact the etheric body and the physical body in this way, the process is similar to what happens on a small scale when a child licks a sweet—for the pleasurable sensation in licking the sweet consists in the fact that the astral body is coming into contact with what is happening in the physical body, and the human being becomes aware of himself in this way. He becomes aware of himself, has self-enjoyment in this process. Those who sit down at a table in a cafe in order to gossip and chatter for an hour or two, simply hurry there to find self-enjoyment. It is self-enjoyment that is being sought in such cases.

We cannot become aware of these things if we do not know that man's being is fourfold and that all the four members are involved in every activity in the external world.

There are other, different examples. From the example of chattering we have seen how the human being has the urge to self-enjoyment caused by the impact of his astral body and Ego upon the etheric body and the physical body. But he also, frequently feels the need for his astral body merely to contact the etheric body, just the etheric body. In order that the astral body may contact the etheric body, this etheric body must produce movement, it must produce inner activity. These processes go on even more in the subconsciousness than do other processes. There is an impulse in the human being, of which he is not conscious, to make an impact with his astral body upon his etheric body. This impulse lives itself out in very curious ways. We find that certain young men—and in recent times young ladies too—simply cannot rest until what they write is printed. People sometimes find it exceedingly pleasant to see their writings in print, but it is pleasant chiefly because they succumb to the worst possible illusion, namely, to the illusion that what is printed is also read: It is by no means always the case that writings are read when they are printed, but it is at least believed that they are, and this is an exceedingly pleasant sensation. Many young men and, as I say, many young ladies too, simply cannot bear it, they are constantly on edge ... until their writings are printed. What does this mean?

It means this,—When writings are printed and actually read—which happens in the rarest cases today—when writings are printed, our thoughts pass over into other human beings, live on in other human souls. These thoughts live in the etheric bodies of the other human beings. But in us the idea takes root: ‘The thought you yourself had in your etheric body is now living out there in the world.’ We have the feeling that out there in the world our own thoughts are living. If the thoughts are really living in the world, if they are actually present there—in other words, if our printed writings are also read—then this exercises an influence upon our own etheric body and we impact what is living out there in the world. Inasmuch as it is living in our own etheric body, an impact takes place with our own astral body. This is quite a different impact from when we merely impact our own thoughts; the human being is not always strong enough to do this, because these thoughts must be called forth from the inner being by dint of energy. But when the thoughts are living in the world, when we can have the consciousness that our own thoughts are living out there in the world, then our astral body—to the best of our belief at least—comes into contact with a part of ourselves that is living in the outside world. This is the supreme self-enjoyment. But this form of self-enjoyment lies at the basis of all seeking for fame, all seeking for recognition, all seeking for authority in the world. At the root of this impulse for self-enjoyment there lies nothing else than a need to impact with our astral body objective thoughts of our etheric body, and in the impact to become aware of ourselves. You see what a complicated process between astral body and etheric body lies at the root of things that play a certain role in the outer world.

Naturally these things are not said for the purpose of making moral judgments into scarecrow. They are not of this nature at all, for everything that has been mentioned belongs to the category of characteristics that are quite normal in life. When we speak, it is absolutely natural that there should be self-enjoyment—even when speaking does not consist in gossiping. It is quite natural too that when we allow something to be printed, not out of thirst for fame but because we feel it a duty to say something to the world,—that then too we impact the thoughts of our etheric body; in such a case the same process is at work. We must not draw the conclusion that these processes are always to be shunned, always to be regarded as something lacking in morality,—for I simply mean them to be taken in a symbolic sense. If the human being were to flee from everything that presses in upon him from the side of Lucifer and Ahriman, he would have to come out of his skin as soon as he realised it—I mean this symbolically too: Lucifer and Ahriman exercise no other forces upon us than those that are justified, normal forces in human life; only it is the case that Lucifer and Ahriman put them into operation in the wrong place. I have said this in different lecture-courses.

If you think of all these things you will perceive the infinite variety and complexity of those threads in life which play over from human soul to human soul and again outwards from the human soul into the world. How infinitely complicated it all is but at the same time you will realise how little, how very little real knowledge the human being derives from what he perceives and pictures concerning his relations to other human beings and to the world. The picture we have of ourselves is only a tiny fragment drawn from what we experience. And this picture, to begin with, is Maya. Only when we make Spiritual Science into an actual asset of life, not into mere theory, do we really get behind Maya and reach some enlightenment upon what is actually going on within us. But things do not change by our possessing a tiny and mostly untrue fragment of the web in which we are involved in relation to the world; the things are as they are. All these hidden forces, this hidden web from soul to soul, from the human being to the various agents of the world—it is all there, and every minute of sleeping and waking life it is playing into the human soul. You will be able to judge from this how much has to be done in order to reach a true knowledge of the being of man.

Studies of this kind have to do with those shades of feeling which are requisite for a true experience of what belongs, not to earthly incarnation, but to eternity. For by unfolding such shades of feeling we become aware of the basis of the conflicts which appear in life. These conflicts that are brought by life and rightly become subjects for treatment in literature and the other arts, are due to the fact that there is an unknown, hidden ocean of will in which we are swimming in life, and that only a tiny fragment—mostly distorted at that—comes into our consciousness. But we cannot live in accordance with this tiny fragment; we must live with our whole soul in accordance with the great and manifold ramifications which exist in life. And this brings the conflicts. How can the tiny fragment that is also in many cases distorted, how can this tiny fragment come into a true relationship to human life, how can it really understand what is actually going on in human life: Because it is incapable of this, the human being inevitably comes into conflict with life. But where reality is in play, there too is truth. Reality does not direct itself according to the pictures we take of it. And the moment there is opportunity for it reality pitilessly corrects the Maya of our ideas. And this kind of corrective which reality bestows upon the Maya of our ideas, supplies most significant material for treatment in art, in poetry.

In pursuance of the line of thought contained in this lecture, I want now to start from a point that is connected with a work of art; in the lecture tomorrow we shall pass on to a study of the life between death and a new birth, and then on Sunday to a theme dealing with art in connection with our building. I do not want to start from a work of art chosen at random but from something that gives a very concrete picture of what I shall present to you as knowledge of the reality of the spiritual life. The reason for choosing this particular example is that, for once, reality has been hit upon in a certain small, but excellent piece of writing. An occultist alone is able to judge about the reality, but in this small work we see how when the human being as a clairvoyant tries to penetrate into the deeper problems of life, he simply cannot avoid touching the occult sides of life, he cannot avoid touching those depths which send their waves up into the life we often pierce so shallowly with the Maya of our thoughts. What I regard as important from the point of view of art and of occultism really occurs only at the end of a tale of which I want to speak merely as an example. Therefore I shall merely give a brief outline of the tale and read the concluding passage only. It is not a question of speaking merely of a piece of literature but of speaking of this particular work, because here for once a writer has presented something that might actually happen, in absolute accordance with true occult laws.

As the tale was written in the sixties of the 19th century, you will gather from what I say, how what we speak of as Spiritual Science has really always been prepared for and reflected in a certain way in human consciousness. Unconsciously, at least, in many a soul there has been reflected what must enter into the culture of the Earth and become more fully conscious through Spiritual Science. It may be that such a soul actually knew something about this, but the time was not ripe for voicing this knowledge in a form other than the unpretentious form of literature. At the present day people are much more ready to condone the introduction of occult truths in the form of stories or poems ... in the age of materialism they are much more ready to condone this than they will condone somebody who comes out with the direct truth and declares that such things are realities. If people can say to themselves: “Well, after all, this is only romance,” they will often accept it. The tale that was written in the sixties of last century is more or less as follows.—

It is written as if one of the characters were narrating it himself; it is a “first person” story, as we say. This character tells of his acquaintance with Mlle. de Gaussin in Paris (which is the scene of the tale). He tells how at a certain period he paid daily visits to the house of this Mlle. de Gaussin who is a much-feted singer; he gets to know all kinds of people who are admirers of the lady of the house—among them a man who is practically always to be found in Mlle.de Gaussin's salon. The narrator perceives that the feelings of this other man for her are more than mere friendship, and he also realises that these feelings are not reciprocated by the singer. Everything that happens results in a conflict.—There is a man who ardently loves the singer; his love is not returned, but he is not actually rejected; in reality he is brought nearer and nearer to her, but as a result of this he becomes more and more restless and inwardly shaken.

The narrator of the story (it is, as I say a ‘first person’ tale), notices all this. He is friendly with the other, and as he (the narrator) is engaged and is to be married during the next few weeks, it is quite natural, as the other man is also friendly with him, that there is no question of jealousy. One day the narrator has it all out with the other man whose eyes are then opened and he feels bound to have a talk with the singer. The result of this talk is that he goes no more to the house—but, although he has promised not to think about the lady any more, and to forget her, he is incapable of seriously turning his mind to other things, of getting rid of his inner restlessness; the thoughts that were there during his friendship with the lady keep on returning. He leaves the town and lives away for a time. During this period the narrator of the story has married and has been obliged to go on a journey. On this journey he meets the other man in a hotel, in a pitiful state. The other man tells him how he has left Paris and how he tried for a time to live alone; how he went for a ride one day outside his estate and had the ill-luck to come across the lady with her traveling company who were also away from Paris; how all his feelings came to life again and how he now goes about with two revolvers in order one day to put an end to his life.

The narrator still has kindly feelings towards the other man and invites him to his new home, hoping to get him to think of other things. The man accepts the invitation which is just the thing to provide him with a sympathetic milieu as a guest; but he simply cannot get hold of himself, he gets more and more depressed, and finally reaches the point where he has resolved to commit suicide. The two friends have a talk together and the narrator succeeds in getting the other to promise that he will defer his intention. The narrator says that he himself has to go away and because he does not want to say: ‘wait until I come back’—fearing that the other might not wait but might shoot himself in the meantime—he gets the other to make him a solemn promise. He says: “Look after my wife until I get back.”

When the other man has given the promise, the narrator goes off to Paris with the idea of asking the singer to come to the country and do something to make the situation less miserable. He reaches Paris and travels back with the singer to the country. They get to the hedge around the narrator's country estate. At this moment the narrator notices that a man who had been standing at the hedge, has run back. As they approach, there is a shot. The other man had kept his promise, had faithfully looked after the wife, but had sent a peasant to keep watch at the hedge. The peasant signals: ‘Now he is coming’—and then the man shoots himself. The narrator brings the singer into the house—and from this point I will read you the words themselves.1“Tales” by Herman Grimm: “The Singer.”

“We reached the chateau in the evening. When I got to the park, a peasant who was waiting for us ran with lightning speed towards the house, and hardly had we got half-way up the avenue, than a shot rang out. So set was I upon the success of my project that the meaning of this shot never entered my head. Amazement was not long to be withheld from me; we went on; nobody came out; the driver cracked his whip and I sprang out, Mlle. de Gaussin after me. The first thing we heard was a scream from my wife's maid who came towards us deathly white, with the cry: ‘He has shot himself dead’. We hurried to the Marquess' room which was full of people; I sent them all out, shut the door and stood with Manon de Gaussin beside the young man's body which lay on the ground. She stared at it for some minutes, then gave a scream and sank to the ground on her knees beside the body. She did not faint. She took his hands, laid hers on his forehead (the wound was in the middle of the chest), looked at me, then at him, and suddenly began to sing in a loud voice. This filled me with dread; I thought she had lost her reason.

Meanwhile one of my agents who knew a little about first-aid and was accustomed to render simple medical assistance, had arrived. I shall never forget the fear that came over his face when he saw the dead Marquess and the singer beside him. She was now silent, stood up, looked at me a long time and left the room. I followed to find out what she might want. She said: ‘I must have a room in which I am quite alone.’ I led her to the first good room, sent to fetch her maid and hurried to my wife. I heard to my relief that she had gone for a walk; I went to meet her and told her what had happened. As we had often talked about the Marquess and had anticipated the possibility of an end like this, she was less shocked than troubled. I led her back to the chateau and proceeded to give orders about the Marquess. The body had been placed on the bed and his servant was sitting by it, weeping bitterly. He said: ‘My master told me that he must not shoot himself until you had returned. This reassured me. Then he arranged secretly with the man John that he should wait for the carriage. The man did this and had hardly run back with the news that the carriage had entered the park than my master stood up, made a mark in the book he was reading, put his hand in his pocket, gave John a coin, took the pistol from the table and went into the other room; the moment he had closed the door behind him, he was dead.’

I began to reproach myself. Perhaps I might have been able to save him if I had acted more quickly. If Manon de Gaussin had arrived at the right moment this tragedy might, possibly, have been avoided. And I also thought: Perhaps providence has wished to protect him from something that would have been still worse, if the singer had decided to marry him, as I believe she would have done,—although she told me only afterwards that the disastrous consequences of such a step would have been unendurable and would simply have brought misery.

I went to Manon de Gaussin. She was calm and collected. There was nothing very unusual about her. She talked to me about the Marquess's frame of mind and his natural disposition towards such a sad ending of his life. So calm and collected was she that I felt the inner shock must have been very great, and I feared the reaction. I introduced her to my wife; we dined together and then retired.

The next morning I was struck by the change that had come over her. She said she felt well, but there was something so strained about her appearance, and in herself she seemed so broken, that her statement belied itself. She talked about leaving soon and asked if she might be given a different room for that night. This was arranged; we spent the day quietly and she only went to bed when all arrangements for her departure had been completed.

The next day she did not come down to breakfast. her maid asked me to go to her mistress in her room. She received me with a faint smile and was so pale and hollow-eyed that I could not conceal my amazement.

‘Dear friend,” she said, “You find me looking ill and don't want to say so?’

‘Don't you think that is natural?’

‘Yes, you are always full of feeling, reserved. But no secrecy helps now. I feel death within me.’

‘Dearest friend!’—I cried out in dismay.

‘I feel death; for two nights now I have seen the Marquess—awake—coming here—he is drawing me to him!’

I looked at her attentively. There was no over-strain in her eyes, nothing maniacal in her voice.

She went on: ‘When I saw him lying there in his blood, the feeling that I was the cause of this tragedy became so strong in me that I cried out because I could bear it no longer. It was as though something were shouting with unbelievable strength into my ears: “You are guilty: You have killed him!” In order not to hear this voice I began to sing louder and louder, but yet I did not deafen the voice. I heard it unceasingly. During the night I could not sleep, I lay and looked at the shadows cast by the furniture in the light of the lamp. Then the door sprang open. A narrow, dark streak appeared. Through this streak the Marquess entered, as it were through a thread of cloud as thin as paper; his eyes were closed, he hovered or came slowly towards me, stood beside the bed, as corporeal as you, and with closed eyes. I did not want to look at him but he forced me to do so; I was compelled to turn my eyes towards him. Then he suddenly opened his and looked at me. I could not bear it, and I lost consciousness. Last night it was the same. I can bear it no longer. I feel that he is sucking the life out of me with his eyes.’

I tried with all the arguments of physics, philosophy and religion to get her to dismiss the phenomenon from her mind. She remained resolute ... ‘I am determined to go away,’—she said. ‘Perhaps his shade is fettered only to this house.’ I opposed this. I could not allow her to travel alone and I could not leave my wife who was expecting her confinement. I therefore proposed to Manon de Gaussin that she should move into my agent's house and I promised to watch by her bed the next night. She finally let herself be persuaded into this, got up and walked around the room like a wraith.

In the evening when she had gone to bed, her maid called me to her. I put a table with night-lights near the bed, with a screen around it, and after talking to her for a little, began to read a book. She seemed to be sleeping; the lights burnt badly. I cleaned them, drank some wine and water and looked at the door. Suddenly—it was made of wood and was not firm—it sprang open; the catch may not have been working. I was about to go over softly and shut it noiselessly when, turning to Manon de Gaussin, I saw her sitting upright in bed with staring eyes. She stretched out her arms towards mine and pointed straight in front of her with her finger:

‘There he comes!’

There was absolutely nothing to be seen.

‘Where?’ I said.

I released myself from her and went to the corner.

‘Here?’

‘Come,’ she screamed, ‘he is standing in front of you!’

With one leap I was by her side.

‘Hold my eyes closed, I cannot bear it he is standing there, he is touching your knee!’

I pressed both her hands over her eyes. She breathed with effort, but there was nothing to be seen.

After a while she took her hands away. ‘I must see if he is still there’, she said softly.

‘Dear friend there is nothing here,’ I answered, and released her. She looked around.

‘He has gone away again: O, if he comes once again it will be better for him. We will slip through the doors together.’

This idea made me shudder. She lay back and declared that the next day she would certainly go away into a convent. I tried to talk her out of this.

‘Go to Paris,’ I said—‘You will forget there.’

She interrupted me.—‘I have deserved it; I have also deserved that you should make such a proposal to me. That I shall never forget! Him perhaps I shall forget, if he ceases to torment me, but my guilt—that is fast smelted!’

‘Your guilt amounts to nothing,’ I said. ‘That he loved you was destiny; the fact that you did not love him was not in your power to change. That you were able to believe you had cured him was only too natural in his deranged state.’

‘O’ she cried, ‘can a mother who lets her child fall into the water ever console herself? Do you think that guilt is only constituted by evil intent? If it were so, could one not wash away all regret with the thought of higher necessity? If God makes us guilty, it is also his will that we shall bear the consequences. It has been decreed that I shall hear these chains rattling to all eternity.’

I had soon exhausted my arguments. She left the chateau, and I did not accompany her. The birth of a son tore me away from all dark thoughts. I gave a feast in honour of this joyful event; the christening, and care for my wife took up my time so completely that everyone will understand why I did not make enquires about the unhappy, beautiful creature of whom, however, I thought from time to time. One day I received a packet from Paris. It had been addressed to me in the care of my business manager. It contained a little case and a letter, both sealed. I opened the letter first; there were only a few lines.

Dearest friend:

When you receive this I shall be dead. I knew that the Marquess would call me to him. Although he came no more to disturb my nights, I had some thing in my soul that took the place of him. Tell your wife that I have no pleasanter memory than that of her kindness to me. Guard your son from people like me. Give me a quiet little corner for the photograph enclosed. You need not break the seal. I do not want to destroy it; it must not fall into wrong hands. If you do look at it, think that perchance, even I had a heart

Manon de Gaussin.

I opened the case and the face of the unhappy girl who had announced her death to me in advance streamed out with all the magic she had possessed in the days of her prime. Tears started into my eyes and I thought of all the happy hours I had spent in her house.

Here we have a true description of the etheric body of a dead man appearing to someone else. It is an absolutely true description. Immediately after the death, Manon de Gaussin saw the wandering etheric body of the dead man. I simply wanted to show you how this phenomenon is treated in a story written in the sixties of last century. It is the phenomenon of the appearance of the etheric body of a dead man, and it can teach us about the secret, hidden relationships that may hold sway between human beings. We will pass on tomorrow to further studies. Try to feel how behind what existed in Manon de Gaussin's consciousness as a fragment of Maya, a wide realm was playing, and how out of this wide realm, in the hours she lived through directly after the Marquess' death, a phenomenon appeared to her in the form of a meeting with the etheric body of the dead man.

Truly, the etheric body is more intimately connected with the manifold circumstances in which we are interwoven within the universe than the pictures we bear in our self-knowledge and in our consciousness.

Fünfter Vortrag

Ich möchte jetzt, in der Zeit, in der uns der Tod so viel heimgesucht hat, einige geisteswissenschaftliche Fragen im Zusammenhang mit dem Problem des Todes berühren, und zwar in der Weise, daß ich heute eine Art Einführung in diese Probleme geben werde, morgen des Nähern über manches, was mit dem Thema zusammenhängt, sprechen werde, und am Sonntag dann den Übergang finden werde von diesem Probleme auch zu allgemeineren Fragen der künstlerischen Auffassung des Lebens, was uns dann wiederum zu einigen Betrachtungen über unseren Bau zurückführen wird.

Wir müssen, wenn wir jene Erlebnisse ins Auge fassen wollen, die mit dem Problem des Todes zusammenhängen, uns vor allen Dingen darüber klar sein, daß der Mensch über seine eigentliche Wesenheit, dasjenige, was in ihm waltet und webt, im Grunde genommen recht unwissend ist. Nicht nur unwissend in bezug auf die tiefere Seite des eigenen verborgenen Daseins, sondern auch in bezug auf vielerlei, was in die alltäglichen Erlebnisse eigentlich recht bedeutungsvoll hereinspielt. Wir müssen ja durchaus uns klar sein darüber, daß wir uns eigentlich sozusagen mit den allerwichtigsten Erkenntnisorganen, die wir für die physische Welt haben, mit den Sinnen, fast ausschließlich nur von außen anschauen, und daß bei diesem Anschauen von außen in der Tat dasjenige, was wir unsere Haut nennen können, uns abtrennt von der Anschauung unseres eigentlichen wahren menschlichen Wesens. Und sobald wir urteilen über unser wahres menschliches Wesen, sobald wir uns ein Bild machen wollen von diesem wahren menschlichen Wesen, müssen wir unseren Verstand, unser Vorstellungsvermögen anwenden. Dieser Verstand, dieses Vorstellungsvermögen aber ist im Laufe unserer Entwickelung, die wir vollbringen in dem physischen Leib, sehr stark beeinflußt, sowohl von ahrimanischer Seite her wie von luziferischer Seite her, und alle diese Einflüsse,- die von ahrimanischer und von luziferischer Seite auf unseren Verstand, insofern er an das Gehirn gebunden ist, ausgeübt werden, die sind geeignet, im höchsten Maße das Urteil zu trüben, das wir uns über uns selber machen.

Es ist ja wirklich heute mit aller menschlichen Selbsterkenntnis so, wie in dem äußersten Falle, den ich das vorige Mal während unserer Betrachtung angeführt habe, mit jenem Universitätsprofessor, der selber erzählt, wie er als junger Mann über die Straße ging und plötzlich an sich herankommen sah einen jungen Menschen mit einem ihm furchtbar unsympathischen Gesicht, und wie er erschrak, als er sah, daß er sich selbst gesehen hatte durch die Zusammenstellung zweier Spiegel, die ihm seine eigene Physiognomie entgegenkommend zeigten; so daß man sieht, daß er also keine Ahnung hatte, wie er seiner äußeren Physiognomie nach, die ihm außerordentlich unsympathisch war, ausschaute. Wie er einen zweiten ähnlichen Fall von sich erzählt, ich habe es angeführt. Es steht aber wirklich nicht anders mit dem, was wir unsere genauere Selbsterkenntnis nennen. Dasjenige, was mit uns den Weg der Weltenwanderung antritt, wenn wir durch die Pforte des Todes gegangen sind, unser Ich, unser Astralleib, das entzieht sich ja der Betrachtung während unseres physischen Lebens; denn wenn wir aufwachen, so zeigt sich uns ja nicht dieses Ich und dieser Astralleib. Sie zeigen sich uns nicht in ihrer wahren Gestalt, sondern sie zeigen sich uns so, wie sie gespiegelt werden durch die Bilder, die der Ätherleib und der physische Leib von dem Ich und Astralleib entwerfen. Wir würden zwar zwischen dem Einschlafen und Aufwachen unser astralisches Wesen und unser Ich in der wahren Gestalt sehen können, wenn wir dann nicht in bewußtlosem Schlafzustand wären. Auch die Träume, wie sie im gewöhnlichen Leben sich abspielen, sind nur im mangelhaften Sinne wirkliche Ausleger unseres Wesens, weil sie ja Spiegelungen sind desjenigen, was sich in unserem Astralleib vollzieht aus unserem Ätherleib heraus, und weil wir erst notwendig haben, die Sprache der Träume gewissermaßen zu verstehen, um die richtige Deutung zu vollziehen. Dann können wir ja allerdings, wenn wir die Sprache der Träume verstehen, aus den Traumvorgängen Erkenntnis gewinnen über unser wahres Wesen. Aber in unserem gewöhnlichen Leben sind wir gewöhnt, die Bilder des Traumes einfach hinzunehmen. Das aber ist nicht gescheiter, als wenn wir eine Schrift nicht wirklich lesen würden, sondern sie nach den Zeichen der Buchstaben nehmen, die Buchstaben beschreiben würden.

Dasjenige, was unser wahres Wesen ist, entzieht sich uns während unseres Lebens zwischen der Geburt und dem Tode. Wir müssen uns dabei klar sein, daß in unserem Astralleib und in unserem Ich alle jene Gefühle und alle jene Willensemotionen liegen, die uns zu unseren Handlungen, zu unseren Taten, aber auch zu unseren Urteilen, zu unseren Auffassungen über die Welt verleiten. Da, in den Tiefen unseres Wesens, wo unser Astralleib und unser wahres Ich sitzen, da haben wir eine ganze Welt von Emotionen, eine ganze Welt von Gefühlen, von Willensimpulsen. Dasjenige aber, was wir uns als unsere eigene Ansicht über diese unsere Emotionen, Willensimpulse und Gefühle im Alltagsleben bilden, das steht zumeist, wirklich zumeist, mit dem, was wir in Wahrheit im innersten unseres Wesens sind, in einem recht entfernten Zusammenhang.

Nehmen wir etwa das Folgende. Es kann im Leben durchaus vorkommen, daß zwei Menschen sich gegenüberstehen, zwei Menschen längere Zeit miteinander leben, und daß durch die eigentümlichen Kräfte, welche aus dem Unbekannten des Astralleibes und des Ich der einen Person in den Astralleib und das Ich der anderen Person hineinspielen - diese Kräfte bleiben ja im Verborgenen -, daß aus diesen Kräften heraus die eine Person gegenüber der anderen geradezu ein Quälgelüste hat, eine Art Grausamkeitsbedürfnis. Es kann nun sein, daß diejenige Persönlichkeit, die ein solches Quälgelüste, ein solches Grausamkeitsbedürfnis hat, gar nichts ahnt von diesen Emotionen im Astralleib und Ich, und daß sie über diese Dinge, die sie vornimmt aus dem Grausamkeitstriebe heraus, sich eine ganze Summe von Vorstellungen aufbaut, welche die Handlungen von ganz anderen Gründen aus erklären, als aus dem Grausamkeitstrieb heraus. Es kann eine solche Persönlichkeit einem erzählen, daß sie aus diesem oder jenem Grunde gegenüber der anderen Persönlichkeit dies oder jenes getan hat. Diese Gründe können sehr scharfsinnig sein, und dennoch sind sie nicht da, um die Wahrheit auszudrücken. Denn die Begriffe, die wir uns im gewöhnlichen Leben über die Motive unserer eigenen Handlungen, ja sogar unserer eigenen Gefühle machen, die stehen, wie gesagt, oft in sehr, sehr entferntem Zusammenhang mit dem, was wirklich in unserem Inneren lebt und webt. Ja, es kann sein, daß die luziferische Macht die betreffende Persönlichkeit geradezu verhindert, richtig verhindert, sich klarzuwerden über ihr Grausamkeitsbedürfnis, über ihr Bedürfnis, der anderen Persönlichkeit alles mögliche zuzufügen, und daß unter dem Einfluß dieser luziferischen Macht all dasjenige, was diese Persönlichkeit redet über die Gründe ihres Handelns, nur da ist, um eine Decke, eine Maske zu breiten über dasjenige, was in der Seele wirklich vorhanden ist.

Die Gründe, die wir angeben im Bewußtsein, können oftmals gerade dazu bestimmt sein, vor uns zu verdecken, vor uns zu vertuschen dasjenige, was wirklich in der Seele lebt und webt. Oftmals tragen diese Gründe auch den Charakter, daß wir uns gegenüber uns selbst verteidigen wollen, denn wir würden uns so unsympathisch vorkommen wie jenem Professor seine eigene Physiognomie. So würden wir uns in der Seele unsympathisch vorkommen, wenn wir uns gestehen müßten, welche Triebe, welche Emotionen eigentlich in der Seele walten. Und weil wir notwendig haben, uns zu schützen vor dem Anblick unserer eigenen seelischen Wesenheit, so erfinden wir mit Hilfe Luzifers allerlei, das uns wirklich Schutz gewährt, Schutz gewährt dadurch, daß es uns betäubt über dasjenige, was wirklich in unserer Seele waltet. So wahr es ist, daß dasjenige, was in der äußeren Welt uns erscheint, durch die Eigenart unseres Vorstellungsvermögens uns zur Maja wird, so wahr ist es auch, daß dasjenige, was wir uns über uns selbst erzählen, zum allergrößten Teil im gewöhnlichen Leben eine Maja ist.

Insbesondere verleiten uns gewisse innere Triebe und Bedürfnisse unserer inneren Wesenheit, uns immer wieder und wieder über diese Wesenheit zu täuschen. Nehmen wir einmal an, eine Persönlichkeit sei eitel, leide an einer gewissen eitlen Großmannssucht. Es soll ja solche Persönlichkeiten in gar nicht geringer Anzahl in der Welt geben. Man gibt das zu. Würde man aber nicht in der eben geschilderten Weise eine Maske legen über das, was man in seiner Seele eigentlich trägt, so würde man noch viel mehr zugeben, daß es eitle Großmannssucht in vielenSeelen gibt, in vielen Seelen, die nichts, aber auch gar nichts davon ahnen.

Solche Großmannssucht wünscht vieles; aber wenn. ich sage «wünscht», so verstehen Sie mich wohl: dieser Wunsch kommt nicht zum Bewußtsein, dieser Wunsch bleibt ganz in den Untergründen. Solch eine Persönlichkeit kann wünschen, auf die eine oder auf die andere Persönlichkeit einen gewissen beherrschenden Einfluß zu haben, aber weil sie sich gestehen müßte, daß aus diesem Trieb nach beherrschendem Einfluß über die andere Persönlichkeit eitle Großmannssucht spricht, deshalb gesteht sich diese betreffende Persönlichkeit das nicht. Nun hat sie, natürlich unbewußt, zu appellieren an jene Verführungskräfte, die Luzifer unausgesetzt auf die menschliche Seele auszuüben vermag. Und unter dem unbewußten Einfluß Luzifers kommt dann eine solche Persönlichkeit niemals dazu, sich zu sagen: Das, was in mir ist, was den Wunsch nach Beherrschung anderer in mir erzeugt, das ist eitle Großmannssucht. Das sagt sie sich nicht; dagegen erfindet sie sich oftmals unter dem Einfluß Luzifers ein ganzes System für die Erklärung ihrer Gefühle, die sie dunkel empfindet, aber deren wahren Charakter sie sich nicht gestehen will. So empfindet dieser Mensch gewisse Gefühle für diese oder jene Persönlichkeit, aber er kann sich nicht eingestehen, daß er diese Persönlichkeit eigentlich beherrschen will und nicht kann, weil sich diese vielleicht nicht beherrschen läßt. Da erfindet die Seele unter dem Einflusse Luzifers ein System. Sie erfindet das System, daß die betreffende Persönlichkeit etwas Böses gegen sie im Schilde führt, und malt sich die betreffenden Dinge, welche sie im Schilde führen soll, in Einzelheiten aus; sie fühlt sich verfolgt von dieser oder jener Persönlichkeit. Aber dieses ganze System von Urteilen und Begriffen ist eine Maske, ist nur dazu da, um dasjenige, was nicht herauf soll aus dem inneren Seelenleben, zu verdecken, zu verhüllen in eine Hülle, eine wirkliche Maja.

Ein Mann sagte mir einmal über eine Reihe seiner Handlungen, daß er diese Handlungen alle vornehme aus dem eisernsten Pflichtgefühl heraus, aus einer unendlichen Hingabe an die Sache, die er zu vertreten habe. Ich hatte ihm zu erwidern: Dasjenige, was Sie als Meinung haben über die Motive Ihres Vorgehens, Ihres Handelns, das ist ganz und gar nicht maßgebend. Maßgebend für ein Urteil über das Verhalten eines Menschen ist allein die Wirklichkeit, nicht das, was er als Meinung über dieses sein Handeln hat. - Die Wirklichkeit aber zeigte in diesem Falle, : daß die Ursache auch zu diesem Handeln der Trieb, der Hang war, nach einer bestimmten Richtung hin einen bestimmenden Einfluß zu gewinnen. Ich sagte der betreffenden Persönlichkeit ganz offen: Während Sie glauben, unter dem eisernen Pflichtgefühl zu handeln, handeln Sie unter dem Triebe, unter dem egoistischen Drange, Einfluß zu gewinnen, und deuten diese Handlungsweise um in eine rein pflichtgemäße, in eine selbstlose. Sie tun das, was Sie tun, nicht aus dem Grunde, weil es so ist, sondern weil das Ihnen so gefällt, weil das Ihnen eine gewisse Wollust bereitet, also wiederum aus einem egoistischen Triebe heraus.

So kann äußerst kompliziert sein das, was in unserer Seele waltet und webt, und was unserer Meinung, unserer Vorstellung über uns selber auch nicht im entferntesten ähnlich ist. Das kann sehr, sehr kompliziert sein. Daß man solches wissen muß, wenn es sich darum handelt, in einer Welt von Wahrheit zu leben, nicht in einer Welt der Maja, das werden Sie von vorneherein zugeben, und daß es auch nötig ist, bisweilen solches in radikaler Weise auszusprechen. Die Gründe, die uns als wirkliche, als wahrhaftige Gründe zu unserem Handeln treiben, die können uns erst allmählich und langsam klar werden, wenn wir wirklich die geheimen Zusammenhänge des Menschen mit der Welt durch die Geisteswissenschaft erkennen lernen.

Nehmen wir einen ganz bestimmten Fall. Sie werden alle gehört haben, daß es solche Menschen in der Welt gibt, die man Schwätzer nennt. Sie werden alle gehört haben, daß es irgendwo in der Welt Menschen gibt, die Schwätzer genannt werden können. Wenn man solche Schwätzer frägt, warum sie in ihrem Kaffeeklatsche oder sonstwo zusammenkommen und so unendlich viel reden - sie sollen sogar oftmals viel mehr reden, als sie verantworten können -, wenn man solche Menschen frägt, wird man viele Gründe hören, warum sie dies oder jenes besprechen müssen. Man kann Menschen kennenlernen, denen man auf der Straße begegnet, wie sie da- oder dorthin eilen, um schnell dort anzukommen; und wenn man erfährt, was sie vorhaben, so sieht man, daß es oft nur der Drang ist, das eitelste, unnützeste, dümmste Geschwätz dort auszuführen. Wenn man solche Persönlichkeiten nach den Gründen fragt, so werden diese Gründe oftmals außerordentlich schön, nett, herrlich klingen, mindestens werden sie aber sehr geeignet sein, den wahren Sachverhalt eigentlich zu verhüllen. Nun wollen wir einmal auf diesen wahren Sachverhalt hindeuten.

Was geschieht denn, wenn wir schwätzen - wenn wir reden, geschieht selbstverständlich dasselbe -, was geschieht denn da? Nun, sehen Sie, da setzen wir durch unsere Atmungsorgane, durch unsere Sprachorgane, die Luft in eine den Formen der Worte entsprechende Bewegung. Wir erzeugen in uns jene physischen Wellen, und selbstverständlich auch die entsprechenden Ätherwellen, denn indem wir sprechen, geht ja immer in dem Ätherleib etwas sehr Bedeutsames vor. Wir erzeugen physische Wellen, die Luftwellen, und dann die Ätherwellen, die unseren Worten entsprechen, die unseren Worten Ausdruck verleihen. Stellen Sie sich das einmal ganz genau vor: Während Sie so sitzen — nein, Sie nicht, pardon! während ein Mensch so sitzt und das Kaffeetäßchen vor ihm auf dem Tische steht, da setzt er einen ganzen inneren Organimus in Bewegung, jenen inneren Organismus, der da entspricht der Ausdrucksform, der äußeren physischen und ätherischen Ausdrucksform seiner Worte. Er hat da in der Tat etwas, was wellt und webt, in sich; das erzeugt er in sich, aber das verspürt er auch, das empfindet er. Dieses Sich-Bewegen des physischen und Ätherleibes empfindet er, weil der Astralleib und das Ich fortwährend daran stoßen. Der Astralleib stößt fortwährend an die Ätherwelle und wird die Ätherwelle gewahr, und das Ich stößt sogar fortwährend an die physische Welle der Luft, so daß Astralleib und Ich fortwährend, während wir sprechen, etwas berühren, etwas angreifen.

In diesem Berühren, in diesem Angreifen werden wir unseres Ich und unseres Astralleibes gewahr, und das ist das höchste Wohlgefühl des Menschen: wenn er sich selbst genießen kann. In diesem Berühren des Astralleibes und des Ich mit dem Ätherleib und dem physischen Leib geht in der Tat etwas Ähnliches vor, wie im kleinen, wenn das Kind an dem Bonbon schleckt, denn das Erfreuliche, Sympathische des Bonbonschleckens besteht ja darin, daß der Astralleib sich berührt mit dem, was im physischen Leib vorgeht, und der Mensch so seiner selbst gewahr wird. Man wird ja seiner selbst gewahr in diesem Vorgang, man genießt sich selbst.

Selbstgenuß ist es in Wahrheit, zu dem diejenigen hineilen, die sich vor das Kaffeetäßchen hinsetzen, um so recht einmal eine Stunde, zwei Stunden zu verschwätzen. Selbstgenuß ist es also, was der Mensch da sucht.

Diese Dinge kann man nicht gewahr werden, wenn man nicht weiß, daß der Mensch eigentlich ein viergliedriges Wesen ist, und daß bei allen Betätigungen in der äußeren Welt alle vier Glieder mitbeschäftigt sind.

Es kann noch etwas anderes vorliegen in verschiedener Weise. Wir haben aus dem eben angeführten Schwatzbeispiel gesehen, wie der Mensch den Trieb hat, sich selbst zu genießen durch das Anstoßen seines Astralleibes und seines Ich an den Ätherleib und den physischen Leib. Aber der Mensch hat auch oftmals das Bedürfnis, mit seinem Astralleib bloß anzustoßen an den Ätherleib. Da muß der Ätherleib in einer gewissen Weise Bewegung erzeugen, innere Tätigkeit erzeugen, damit der Astralleib daran stoßen kann. Solche Dinge vollziehen sich noch viel mehr im Unterbewußten als andere Dinge. Es liegt ein Trieb im Menschen, mit seinem Astralleib — dessen ist er sich ja nicht bewußt - an den Ätherleib anzustoßen. Bei den kuriosesten Sachen lebt sich dieser Trieb aus: Wir erleben es, daß der eine oder andere junge Mann - in der neueren Zeit soll es auch schon bei jungen Damen vorkommen -, daß der oder jener junge Mann nicht ruhen kann, bis er gedruckt ist. Das ist zuweilen ein ungeheuer wohliges Gefühl, sich gedruckt zu sehen, aber hauptsächlich ist es deshalb ein wohliges Gefühl, weil man bei diesem Sich-gedruckt-Sehen einer allerärgsten Illusion sich hingibt, nämlich der, daß man auch gelesen wird! Nun, das letztere ist ja nicht immer der Fall, daf? man auch gelesen wird, wenn man gedruckt ist, aber man glaubt es zum mindesten, und das bereitet ein ungeheuer wohliges Gefühl. Und mancher junge Mann, und wie gesagt, auch manche junge Dame, sie können es nicht aushalten, sind immerfort beunruhigt, bis sie gedruckt sind. Was bedeutet das?

Ja, sehen Sie, das bedeutet, daß, wenn wir gedruckt sind und wirklich gelesen werden — was ja bekanntlich heutzutage nur in den seltensten Fällen geschieht -, dann gehen unsere Gedanken in andere Menschen über, dann leben unsere Gedanken in anderen Menschenseelen weiter. Aber diese Gedanken leben in den Ätherleibern der anderen Menschen. Bei uns selbst aber setzt sich der Gedanke fest: Das, was du selber in deinem Ätherleib als Gedanke hattest, das lebt jetzt draußen in der Welt. Man hat das Gefühl, da draußen in der Welt, da leben unsere eigenen Gedanken. Wenn sie wirklich da draußen leben, wenn sie wirklich da draußen vorhanden sind, das heißt mit anderen Worten, wenn wirklich unser Gedrucktes auch gelesen wird, dann übt es einen Einfluß aus auf unseren eigenen Ätherleib, und dann stoßen wir an das, was da draußen in der Welt lebt. Indem es in unserem eigenen Ätherleib lebt, stoßen wir_ zusammen mit unserem eigenen Astralleib. Das ist ein ganz anderes Zusammenstoßen, als wenn wir nur mit unseren eigenen Gedanken zusammenstoßen; dazu hat ja der Mensch nicht immer die Kraft, weil diese Gedanken mit einer gewissen Energie geholt werden müssen aus der eigenen Wesenheit. Wenn aber die Gedanken draußen leben, wenn wir das Bewußtsein haben können: da draußen leben die Gedanken, die von dir stammen -, dann stößt unser Astralleib, wenigstens in unserem Glauben, zusammen mit dem, was von uns in der Außenwelt ist. Das ist aber ein eminenter Selbstgenuß. Dieser Selbstgenuß liegt aller Ruhmessucht, aller Sucht nach Bekanntwerden, aller Sucht nach Geltunghaben in der Welt zugrunde. Diesem Trieb nach Selbstgenuß liegt nichts anderes zugrunde als ein Bedürfnis, mit unserem Astralleib auf objektive Gedanken unseres Ätherleibes aufzustoßen und uns so selbst gewahr zu werden im Aufstoßen. Sie sehen, welch komplizierter Vorgang, ein Vorgang zwischen Astralleib und Ätherleib, zugrunde liegt bei dem, was eine gewisse Rolle spielt in der äußeren Welt.

Diese Dinge werden ja selbstverständlich nicht gesagt, um sie gleichsam als Vogelscheuche der moralischen Menschheitsbeurteilung vor Ihre Seele hinzustellen. Das sollen sie gewiß nicht sein, denn alles das, was jetzt angeführt worden ist, gehört zu den ganz normalen Eigentümlichkeiten des Lebens. Es ist einfach selbstverständlich, daß, indem wir reden, wir uns auch selbst genießen, auch wenn das Reden nicht in Schwatzen besteht. Es ist auch ganz selbstverständlich, daß, wenn wir nicht aus Ruhmessucht, sondern weil wir uns verpflichtet fühlen, der Welt etwas zu sagen, erwas drucken lassen, wir auch an die Gedanken unseres Ätherleibes stoßen; dann ist derselbe Vorgang vorhanden. Man darf also nicht etwa den Schluß ziehen, daß man diese Vorgänge immer fliehen solle, daß man diese Vorgänge absolut immer als etwas Unmoralisches anzusehen habe, denn ich meine all das nur symbolisch. Wenn der Mensch all dasjenige fliehen sollte, was von luziferischer und ahrimanischer Seite auf ihn eindringt, so müßte er - ich meine das symbolisch -, sobald er das gewahr wird, aus seiner Haut fahren. Es ist ganz selbstverständlich, daß Luzifer und Ahriman keine anderen Wirksamkeiten auf uns ausüben als die, die auch vollberechtigte normale Wirksamkeiten im Menschenleben sind, nur daß Luzifer und Ahriman sie verstellt ausführen, wie ich es ja in verschiedenen Vortragszyklen zum Ausdruck gebracht habe.

Wenn Sie sich aber das alles vor die Seele führen, dann werden Sie sehen, wie unendlich mannigfaltig, wie unendlich kompliziert jene Fäden sind im Leben, welche von Menschenseele zu Menschenseele spielen, und welche von der Menschenseele hinaus wiederum in die Welt spielen, wie unendlich kompliziert das alles ist. Aber zugleich werden Sie sich sagen, wie wenig, wie gar wenig der Mensch mit dem, was er wahrnimmt und vorstellt, über dies sein Verhältnis zum Menschen und zur Welt wirklich weiß. Was wir uns vorstellen von uns, es ist wirklich ein ganz kleiner Ausschnitt von dem, was wir erleben. Und diese Vorstellung ist zumeist eine Maja. Nur indem wir uns die Geisteswissenschaft zu einem wirklichen Lebensgut, nicht zu einer Theorie machen, kommen wir eigentlich hinter die Maja, können wir uns einigermaßen aufklären über das, was im Grunde genommen fortwährend in uns spielt. Aber dadurch, daß wir nur einen kleinen, noch dazu meist unwahren Ausschnitt haben von dem Gewebe, in das wir eingesponnen sind in bezug auf die Welt, werden die Dinge ja nicht anders; die Dinge sind doch so, wie sie sind. Alle diese verborgenen Kräfte, dieses verborgene Gewebe von Menschenseele zu Menschenseele, von dem Menschen zu den verschiedenen Agenzien der Welt, all das ist da, all das spielt in jeder Minute des Schlafens und Wachens in die Menschenseele herein. Und wieviel zu tun ist, um zu einer wirklichen Erkenntnis der Menschenwesenheit zu kommen, das werden Sie daraus ermessen.

Aber es gehört zu den Gefühlsnuancen, die wir brauchen, wenn wir richtig empfinden wollen über dasjenige, was nicht der irdischen Inkarnation, sondern der Ewigkeit angehört, daß wir solche Betrachtungen anstellen, wie wir sie eben angestellt haben. Denn dadurch, daß wir solche Empfindungsnuancen uns verschaffen, werden wir gewahr, worauf die Konflikte, die im Leben auftreten, eigentlich beruhen. Diese Konflikte, die das Leben hereinbringt und die mit Recht Inhalt der Dichtung und der übrigen Kunst werden, diese Konflikte beruhen eben darauf, daß eine unbekannte, verborgene Welle der Zusammengehörigkeit ausgedehnt ist, in der wir schwimmen im Leben, und daß nur ein kleiner Ausschnitt zu unserem Bewußtsein kommt, und dieser Ausschnitt zumeist noch schief ist.

Aber leben können wir nicht nach diesem kleinen Ausschnitt, leben müssen wir mit unserer ganzen Seele nach den großen, mannigfaltigen Verzweigungen, die im Leben sind. Und damit kommen die Konflikte. Wie soll der kleine Ausschnitt, der dann noch schief ist in vielen Fällen, wie soll der sich in ein richtiges Verhältnis stellen zum Menschenleben, wie soll der richtig verstehen, was eigentlich im Menschenleben vorliegt? Weil er es nicht kann, so kommt es vor, daß der Mensch mit dem Leben in Konflikt geraten muß. Aber da, wo die Wirklichkeit spielt, da spielt auch die Wahrheit. Die Wirklichkeit richtet sich nicht nach den Vorstellungen, die wir uns von dieser Wirklichkeit machen. Und in dem Augenblick, wo irgendwie Gelegenheit ist, daß die Wirklichkeit hereinspielt, da sehen wir auch in unzähligen Fällen, wie diese Wirklichkeit, ich möchte sagen, oftmals erbarmungslos unsere Vorstellungsmaja korrigiert. Und diese Art der Korrektur, welche die Wirklichkeit unserer Vorstellungsmaja angedeihen läßt, die bietet die bedeutendsten Vorwürfe für die Kunst, für die Dichtung.

Ich möchte, gemäß dem Gedankengang der heutigen Betrachtung, jetzt von etwas Künstlerischem ausgehen, zunächst von etwas Dichterischem, um dann einzumünden in dem morgigen Vortrag in eine Betrachtung über das Leben zwischen Tod und neuer Geburt und dann am Sonntag im weiteren Sinn zu dem Künstlerischen, das mit unserem Bau zusammenhängt, kommen.

Ich möchte nicht von etwas beliebig Künstlerischem ausgehen, sondern von etwas, das im eminentesten Sinne veranschaulicht dasjenige, was ich Ihnen als Erkenntnis der Wirklichkeit des geistigen Lebens darzustellen haben werde. Aber das Beispiel, das ich wähle, wähle ich aus dem Grunde, weil wirklich einmal in einem ausgezeichneten kleinen Kunstwerke die Wirklichkeit getroffen ist. Das kann nur der Okkultist beurteilen, ob das geschehen ist, weil wir an dem kleinen Kunstwerke sehen, wie da, wo der Mensch als Künstler in die tieferen Probleme des Lebens einzudringen versucht, er oftmals gar nicht anders kann als die okkulten Seiten des Lebens berühren, die in den Konflikten, von denen ich gesprochen habe, aus den Untergründen wellenartig heraufspielen in das Leben, das wir dann mit unserer Bewußtseinsmaja oftmals so wenig tief durchdringen.

Dasjenige, was künstlerisch-okkultistisch mir wichtig ist, das ist eigentlich erst am Schlusse einer Novelle enthalten, von der ich bloß wie von einem Beispiel sprechen will. Deshalb will ich den Anfang nur erzählend skizzieren und dann die Schlußworte vorlesen. Es handelt sich darum, nicht bloß von einer Dichtung zu sprechen, sondern von dieser Dichtung deshalb zu sprechen, weil hier ein Dichter einmal dasjenige, was sein könnte, nach wahrsten okkulten Gesetzen eben zur Darstellung gebracht hat.

Da die Novelle schon in den sechziger Jahren des 19. Jahrhunderts geschrieben ist, so werden Sie aus. den Tatsachen, die ich anzuführen habe, entnehmen, wie im menschlichen Bewußtsein eigentlich immer in einer gewissen Weise sich gespiegelt hat, sich vorbereitet hat dasjenige, wovon wir als Geisteswissenschaft sprechen, was in unsere Kulturbewegung der Erde notwendigerweise kommen muß, und wie das, was durch die Geisteswissenschaft zum volleren Bewußtsein kommen soll, sich wenigstens unbewußt in mancher Seele gespiegelt hat. Vielleicht hat eine solche Seele auch schon etwas davon gewußt, aber weil die Zeit noch nicht reif war, sich nicht getraut, dieses Wissen in einer anderen Weise zum Ausdruck zu bringen als in der anspruchslosen Form der Dichtung. Verzeiht man doch in der Gegenwart viel eher, wenn jemand okkulte Tatsachen in Novellenform oder in Dichtungsform vorbringt. Das verzeiht man auch im materialistischen Zeitalter viel eher, als wenn jemand direkt mit der Wahrheit auftritt und sagt, daß diese Dinge Realitäten sind. Wenn sie sich sagen können: Na, das ist ja nur erdichtet -, dann nehmen die Leute noch manchmal die Dinge hin.

Die Novelle enthält etwa das Folgende. Sie ist geschrieben, wie wenn eine der Personen, von denen die Novelle handelt, selber erzählen würde. Es ist eine sogenannte «Ich-Novelle». Der Betreffende erzählt, wie er befreundet ist mit Mademoiselle Manon de Gaussin - die Novelle spielt in Paris -, und wie er zu einer gewissen Zeit Tag für Tag verkehrt in dem Hause jener Mademoiselle de Gaussin, die eine gefeierte Sängerin ist. Er erzählt, wie er dort die verschiedensten Menschen, Bewunderer der betreffenden Herrin des Hauses kennenlernt, unter anderem auch einen Menschen, welcher im Grunde genommen immer da ist, wenn man in den Salon der Mademoiselle de Gaussin kommt. Aber derjenige, der das erzählt, was in der Novelle vorgeht, bemerkt, daß der Betreffende mehr als bloß freundschaftliche Gefühle zu der Dame hat, und er wird auch gewahr, daß diese Gefühle nicht von der Sängerin erwidert werden. Und das, was sich da abspielt, abspielt in der mannigfaltigsten Weise, das ist eigentlich ein Konflikt, der dadurch entsteht, daß ein die Sängerin glühend Liebender da ist, dessen Liebe nicht erwidert wird, der aber auch nicht einfach abgestoßen wird, der eigentlich im Grund genommen immer mehr und mehr herangezogen wird, der dadurch aber immer mehr und mehr in Unruhe, in Aufregung hineinkommt.

Dies bemerkt derjenige, der da erzählt, was in der Novelle geschildert wird, der nicht der Autor der Novelle ist - es ist eine sogenannte «IchNovelle» -, und er meint es gut mit dem ‘anderen. Man muß noch erwähnen, daß das eigentliche Ich der Novelle verlobt ist und sich in den nächsten Wochen verheiraten will, so daß ausgeschlossen ist, selbstverständlich, daß eine Eifersucht vorliegen würde. Das Ich der Novelle meint es gut mit dem anderen und stellt ihm eines Tages vor, wie die Dinge liegen. Dadurch werden dem anderen gleichsam die Augen geöffnet, und er fühlt sich gedrängt, eine Aussprache mit der Sängerin herbeizuführen. Diese Aussprache hat zur Folge, daß er das Haus verläßt und sich zurückzieht in eine Gegend außerhalb der Stadt. Aber trotzdem er versprochen hat, nicht mehr an diese Dame zu denken, die Dame zu vergessen und sich mit allem möglichen anderen zu beschäftigen: er ist nicht mehr fähig dazu, ist nicht mehr fähig, aus dieser Unruhe herauszukommen. Die Gedanken spielen immer wieder und wieder, die während seiner Bekanntschaft mit der Dame gespielt haben. Er verläßt die Stadt und wohnt einige Zeit draußen. In dieser Zeit hat sich das Ich der Novelle vermählt, mußte dann eine Reise unternehmen. Auf dieser. Reise trifft er den anderen, trifft ihn in einem furchtbaren Zustand in einem Hotel. Der andere erzählt - das kommt heraus, während sie sprechen -, wie er sich eben zurückgezogen hat von Paris, wie er eine Weile versucht hat, allein zu leben, wie er dann einen Ausritt unternahm nach außerhalb seines Gutes, wie er unglücklicherweise gerade die Reisegesellschaft der Dame, die auch außerhalb von Paris war, getroffen hat, wie alle Gefühle wieder aufgelebt sind, und wie er jetzt eigentlich mit zwei Revolvern herumgeht, um seinem Leben bei der ersten Gelegenheit ein Ende zu machen.

Das Ich der Novelle meint es mit diesem anderen noch immer gut und lädt ihn zu sich, dahin wo er sich ein Heim gegründet hat: er hofft, ihn auf andere Gedanken bringen zu können. Der Betreffende folgt der Einladung, die geeignet wäre, ihm ein sympathisches Milieu in dem gastlichen Hause zu gewähren. Er kann aber nicht zu sich kommen, er kommt vielmehr immer weiter und weiter herunter und ist endlich soweit, daß er den Selbstmord beschlossen hat. Die beiden Freunde sprechen miteinander, und das Ich der Novelle bringt es dahin, daß der andere wenigstens einen kleinen Aufschub gewährt. Das Ich der Novelle sagt, er müsse verreisen, und weil er nicht sagen wollte: Warte solange, bis ich zurückkomme - das würde der andere vielleicht nicht getan haben, er würde sich inzwischen erschossen haben -, nimmt er ihm ein für den anderen bindendes Versprechen ab. Er sagt: Schütze meine Frau, bis ich zurückkommen werde.

Er reist, nachdem der andere das Versprechen gegeben hat, nunmehr nach Paris, mit dem Gedanken, die Sängerin zu veranlassen, auf das Land hinauszukommen, damit irgend etwas geschehen könne, was den Freund aus der elenden Situation herausbringe. Er fährt also in die Stadt und kommt mit der Sängerin zurück aufs Land hinaus. Sie fahren zu dem Zaune des Landhauses des Ich der Novelle. In dem Moment, wo der Zaun es gestattet, bemerkt das Ich der Novelle, wie ein Mensch, der an dem Tore gestanden hatte, nun zurückgelaufen ist. Sie fahren weiter auf das Haus zu, da fällt ein Schuß. Der andere hat sein Versprechen gehalten, die Frau getreulich bewacht. Er hat aber einen Wächter aufgestellt, der ihm sofort melden sollte, wenn der Reisende zurückkomme. Der sagt ihm: Jetzt kommt er zurück. — Da hat er sich erschossen.

So bringt das Ich der Novelle die Sängerin nun ins Haus, und von diesem Punkte an will ich Ihnen die Worte nun lesen.

«... Am Abend erreichten wir das Schloß. Es fiel mir auf, daß, als ich in den Park einfuhr, ein Bauer, welcher uns erwartete, mit Blitzesschnelle auf das Schloß zulief und daß, als wir kaum die halbe Allee durchfahren, ein Schuß fiel. So sehr war ich indes von dem Gelingen meiner Unternehmung erfüllt, daß mir gar nicht in den Sinn kam, was er bedeute. Die Überraschung sollte mir nicht lange vorenthalten bleiben; wir fuhren vor, es kam niemand herbei; der Kutscher knallte, ich sprang heraus, die Gaussin mir nach; das erste, was wir hören, ist der Schrei der Kammerjungfer meiner Frau, welche totenbleich auf uns zukommt und mit dem Ausruf: «Er hat sich totgeschossen» vor uns niiedersank. Wir eilten nach dem Zimmer des Marquis, die Stube war voll Menschen, ich wies sie alle hinaus, schloß die Tür und stand mit Manon allein neben der Leiche des jungen Mannes, die auf der Erde lag. Sie sah ihn einige Momente starr an, darauf stieß sie einenSchrei aus, sank in die Knie und neben ihm zu Boden. Ohnmächtig ward sie nicht. Sie ergriff seine Hände, legte die ihren auf seine Stirn - er hatte die Wunde mitten in der Brust -, sah zu mir auf, zu ihm nieder und fing plötzlich mit lauter Stimme zu singen an. Daserfülltemich mit Grausen; ich glaubte, sie wäre wahnsinnig geworden.

Unterdessen kam einer meiner Verwalter herbei, welcher etwas Arzneikunst verstand und gewöhnlich das Amt eines Doktors versah, wo nicht viel zu riskieren war. Nie werde ich den Todesschrecken vergessen, der sich auf seinem Gesichte malte, als er das Paar erblickte, den toten Marquis und die singende Gaussin daneben. Sie schwieg jetzt, stand auf, sah mich noch einmal lange an und verließ das Zimmer. Ich folgte ihr nach, um ihre Befehle entgegenzunehmen. Sie sagte: «Ich muß ein Zimmer für mich allein haben! Ich führte sie in das erste beste, ließ ihre Kammerjungfer holen und eilte zu meiner Frau. Ich hörte zu meinem Glück, daß sie auf einem Spaziergange begriffen sei, ging ihr entgegen und teilte ihr das Geschehene mit. Da wir beide oft über den Marquis gesprochen und unter allen Möglichkeiten auch ein solches Ende sattsam erwogen hatten, war sie weniger erschrocken als betrübt. Ich geleitete sie zum Schlosse und gab wegen des Marquis meine Befehle. Die Leiche hatte man aufs Bert gelegt, sein Bedienter saß daneben und weinte bitterlich, indem er sprach: «Mein Herr sagte mir, er dürfe sich nicht eher totschießen, als bis Sie wieder da wären. Das beruhigte mich. Da hat er heimlich mit dem Jean ausgemacht, dieser sollte aufpassen auf den Wagen. Das hat er nun getan, und kaum kommt er mit der Nachricht angerannt, der Wagen wäre in den Park eingefahren, so steht mein Herr auf, macht ein Zeichen in das Buch, in dem er las, greift in die Tasche, gibt ihm einen Louisdor, nimmt die Pistole vom Tisch und geht in die andere Stube; keinen Augenblick, daß er die Tür hinter sich zugedrückt, so war er tot.» Ich machte mir Vorwürfe. Vielleicht hätte ich ihn retten können, wenn ich energischer aufgetreten wäre. Wäre die Gaussin zur rechten Zeit angekommen, so hätten wir dies Unglück vielleicht nicht erlebt. Auch dachte ich: Vielleicht hat ihn die Vorsehung vor etwas bewahren wollen, das noch schrecklicher war; denn wenn sich auch die Sängerin entschloß, ihn zu heiraten, und das glaube ich ihr, obgleich sie es mir erst hinterher versicherte, die Verhängnisse, welche ein solcher Schritt mit sich führen mußte, wären nicht ausgeblieben und hätten ein Elend im Gefolge haben können, gegen das alles andere erwünscht schien.

Ich ging zu ihr. Sie war gefaßt; man sah ihr, sozusagen, nicht viel an. Sie besprach mit mir die Seelenstimmung des Marquis und seine natürliche Anlage zu einem so traurigen Lebensende. Doch so gefaßt sie war, fühlte ich doch, daß die innerliche Erschütterung, die sie empfangen, sehr stark gewesen sei und fürchtete die Nachwirkung. Ich stellte sie meiner Frau vor, wir aßen zusammen und zogen uns zurück.

Am anderen Morgen ward mir die mit ihr vorgegangene Veränderung auffallend. Sie sagte, sie befände sich wohl, ihr Aussehen hatte aber etwas so Abgespanntes, ihr Wesen etwas so Zerstörtes, daß der Augenschein ihre Behauptung Lügen strafte. Sie sprach davon, bald aufzubrechen und bat, ihr für die nächste Nacht ein anderes Zimmer anzuweisen. Dies geschah; wir brachten den Tag still hin und sie ging nicht eher zur Ruhe, als bis alle Anordnungen zur Abreise gemacht waren.

Am nächsten Tage kam sie nicht zum Frühstück. Die Kammerjungfer bat mich, zu ihrer Herrin ans Bett zu kommen. Sie empfing mich mit einem matten Lächeln und war so bleich und hohlblickend, daß ich meine Überraschung nicht zu verbergen vermochte.

Lieber Freund, sagte sie, Sie finden mich übel aussehend und wollen es nicht Wort haben?

Finden Sie das nicht natürlich?

Ja, Sie sind immer der Gefühlvolle, Zurückhaltende. Aber es hilft hier kein Verstecken. Ich fühle den Tod in mir.

Beste Freundin! - rief ich entsetzt aus. Ich fühle ihn; denn ich habe seit zwei Nächten den Marquis gesehen. Wachend! Hier herantretend! - Er zieht mich nach sich!

Ich betrachtete sie mit Aufmerksamkeit. Es lag nichts Überspanntes in ihren Augen, nichts Wahnsinniges in ihrer Stimme.

Als ich ihn in seinem Blute liegen sah, fuhr sie fort, ward das Gefühl, dies Unglück verschuldet zu haben, so mächtig in mir, daß ich aufschrie, weil ich es nicht länger ertragen konnte. Mir war, als riefe mir Etwas unglaublich dringend ins Ohr: Du trägst die Schuld! Du hast ihn gemordet! Deshalb, nur um diese Stimme nicht zu hören, fing ich an zu singen, immer lauter und lauter, doch ich übertäubte die Stimme nicht. Ich höre sie immer und immer. Nachts konnte ich nicht schlafen, ich lag und sah mir die Schatten an, welche die Möbel im Lichte der Nachtlampe warfen. Da springt die Tür auf, es entstand nur ein feiner dunkler Streifen. Durch diesen schob sich wie ein papierdünner Rauch der Marquis herein; er hatte die Augen geschlossen, er schwebte oder ging langsam auf mich zu, stand neben meinem Bette, leibhaftig wie Sie und mit geschlossenen Augen. Ich wollte ihn nicht ansehen, aber er zwang mich dazu, ich mußte die Augen auf ihn richten; da schlug er plötzlich die seinigen auf und sah mich an; das ertrug ich nicht, ich verlor die Besinnung. Vorige Nacht dasselbe Spiel. Ich ertrage es nicht lange mehr! Ich fühle, wie er mit seinen Augen das Leben aus mir saugt.

Ich suchte ihr die Erscheinung mit allen Gründen der Physik, Philosophie und Religion auszureden, sie blieb fest... Ich bin entschlossen abzureisen, sagte sie, vielleicht ist sein Schatten nur an dies Haus gebannt. Dagegen opponierte ich. Ich konnte sie nicht so allein reisen lassen und auch meine Frau nicht wieder verlassen, welche ihrer Niederkunft entgegensah. Ich machte ihr deshalb den Vorschlag, in das Haus meines Verwalters zu ziehen, und versprach, die nächste Nacht an ihrem Bette zu wachen. Dazu ließ sie sich endlich bereden, stand auf und wankte wie ein Schatten umher.

Am Abend, als sie sich niedergelegt hatte, rief mich die Kammerjungfer zu ihr. Ich ließ einen Tisch mit Lichtern nahe an ihr Bett setzen, eine spanische Wand darum stellen und begann, nachdem ich einige Zeit mit ihr gesprochen, in einem Buche zu lesen. Sie schien zu schlafen, die Lichter brannten dunkel; ich putzte sie, trank etwas Wein und Wasser und sah die Tür an. Plötzlich - sie war von altem Holze und nicht fest - sprang sie auf; die Klinke mochte nicht recht gefaßt haben. Ich wollte leise hingehen, um sie lautlos zuzudrücken, als ich, mich nach Mademoiselle de Gaussin umwendend, sie aufrecht mit starren Augen im Bette sitzen sah. Sie streckte die Arme nach mir aus, klammerte sich an die meinigen und wies mit dem Finger gerade aus:

Da kommt er!

Es war durchaus nichts zu erblicken.

Wo? sagte ich.

Dort!

Ich machte mich von ihr los und trat an den Fleck.

Hier?

Kommen Sie, schrie sie auf, er steht vor Ihnen!

Ich war mit einem Sprunge neben ihr.

Halten Sie mir die Augen zu, ich kann es nicht ertragen! Da steht er! Er berührt Ihre Knie!

Ich drückte ihr beide Hände auf die Augen, sie atmete mit Anstrengung, aber zu sehen war nichts.

Nach einer Weile schob sie die Hände zurück. Ich muß sehen, ob er noch da ist, sagte sie leise.

Es ist gar nichts hier, beste Freundin! antwortete ich und ließ sie los. Sie blickte umher.

Er ist wieder fort! Oh, wenn er noch einige Male so kommt, kann er es bald bequemer haben. Wir werden dann Arm in Arm durch die Türen schleichen.

Diese Idee machte mich schaudern. Sie legte sich zurück und erklärte, daß sie am nächsten Tage sicher abreisen und in ein Kloster gehen würde. Ich suchte ihr das auszureden. Gehen Sie nach Paris, sagte ich, dort werden Sie vergessen ...

Ich habe es verdient! unterbrach sie mich; ich habe es auch verdient, daß Sie mir einen solchen Vorschlag machen. Das vergesse ich niemals! Ihn vielleicht, wenn er mich zu quälen aufhörte, aber meine Schuld - das bleibt festgeschmiedet!

Ihre Schuld ist so gut wie keine, sagte ich. Daß er Sie liebte, war eine Fügung, daß Sie ihn nicht liebten, lag nicht in Ihrer Macht zu ändern; daß Sie ihn geheilt glaubten, war bei seiner Verstellung nur zu natürlich.

Oh, rief sie, kann eine Mutter sich jemals trösten, die ihr Kind ins Wasser fallen ließ? Meinen Sie, nur der böse Wille machte die Schuld aus? Könnte man da nicht alle Reue mit dem Gedanken an höhere Notwendigkeit fortspülen? Macht Gott uns schuldig, so will er auch, daß wir die Folgen tragen. Es ist gesagt, daß ich diese Ketten ewig werde rasseln hören.

Ich hatte meine Gründe bald erschöpft. Sie verließ das Schloß, ich begleitete sie nicht. Die Geburt eines Sohnes riß mich aus allen trüben Gedanken. Ich gab diesem glücklichen Ereignisse zu Ehren Feste; die Taufe, die erste Erziehung, die Sorge um meine Frau nahmen mich so vollständig in Anspruch, daß jeder es begreiflich finden wird, wenn ich nach dem unglücklichen schönen Wesen, an das ich freilich zu Zeiten dachte, keine Nachforschungen anstellte. Eines Tages erhielt ich ein Paket von Paris, das bei meinem dortigen Geschäftsführer unter meiner Adresse abgegeben war. Es enthielt ein Etui und einen Brief, beides versiegelt. Ich erbrach den letztern zuerst; er enthielt nur wenige Zeilen.

Liebster Freund!

Wenn Sie dies erhalten, bin ich nicht mehr. Ich wußte, daß mich der Marquis zu sich rufen würde. Kam er auch nicht mehr, meine Nächte zu stören, ich trug etwas in der Seele, das seine Stelle vertrat. Sagen Sie

_ Ihrer Gemahlin, ich hätte mich an nichts so gern erinnert, als an ihre Güte gegen mich. Bewahren Sie Ihren Sohn vor meinesgleichen. Gönnen Sie beiliegendem Bilde ein ruhiges Plätzchen. Sie brauchen das Siegel nicht zu erbrechen. Zerstören mochte ich es nicht; in falsche Hände kommen sollte es nicht. Sehen Sie es an, so denken Sie, ich hätte doch vielleicht ein Herz gehabt.

Manon de Gaussin.

Ich öffnete das Etui und das unglückliche, mir zugleich als kürzlich verstorben gemeldete Mädchen strahlte mir mit allem Zauber entgegen, welchen sie in ihren schönsten Tagen besaß. Die Tränen traten mir in die Augen und ich gedachte aller glücklichen Stunden, die ich in ihrem Hause verlebt hatte.»

Nun, wir haben hier eine ganz sachgemäße Schilderung, wie der Ätherleib eines Verstorbenen einem anderen Menschen erscheint, eine ganz sachgemäße Schilderung. Unmittelbar nach dem Tode sah Manon de Gaussin den wandelnden Ätherleib des Verstorbenen. Von dieser Erscheinung - ich wollte Ihnen nur zeigen ihre Verarbeitung in einer Novelle schon aus den sechziger Jahren des 19. Jahrhunderts -, also von der Erscheinung des Ätherleibes eines Toten, und von dem, was wir von einer solchen Tatsache über die geheime, verborgene Beziehung, die zwischen Menschen walten kann, lernen können, wollen wir dann morgen zu weiteren Betrachtungen übergehen. Versuchen Sie zu fühlen, wie hinter dem, was in dem Maja-Ausschnitt in dem Bewußtsein der Manon de Gaussin zugegen war, ein weites Reich spielt, und wie aus diesem weiten Wellenreiche heraufkam in den Stunden, die sie unmittelbar nach dem Tode des Marquis durchmachte, dasjenige, was sich als Begegnung mit dem Ätherleib des Verstorbenen abspielte.

Ja, dieser Ätherleib des Menschen, er steht in innigerer Beziehung zu dem, was die mannigfachen Verhältnisse sind, in die wir einverwoben sind in dem Weltall, als das, was wir von ihm in unserer Selbsterkenntnis und unserem Bewußtsein tragen.

Fifth Lecture

Now, at a time when death has visited us so often, I would like to touch upon some spiritual scientific questions in connection with the problem of death, in such a way that today I will give a kind of introduction to these problems, tomorrow I will discuss some of the things related to the topic in more detail, and on Sunday I will then move on from these problems to more general questions about the artistic conception of life, which will in turn lead us back to some considerations about our constitution.

If we want to consider those experiences that are connected with the problem of death, we must first of all be clear that human beings are basically quite ignorant about their true nature, about what really rules and weaves within them. Not only ignorant of the deeper side of their own hidden existence, but also ignorant of many things that actually play a significant role in everyday experiences. We must be clear that we actually view the physical world almost exclusively from the outside with the most important organs of perception we have, our senses, and that in this viewing from the outside, what we call our skin separates us from the perception of our true human nature. And as soon as we judge our true human nature, as soon as we want to form a picture of this true human nature, we must use our intellect, our power of imagination. However, this intellect, this power of imagination, has been very strongly influenced in the course of our development in the physical body, both from the Ahrimanic side and from the Luciferic side, and all these influences, — those exerted by Ahriman and Lucifer on our intellect, insofar as it is bound to the brain — are capable of clouding to the highest degree the judgment we make about ourselves.

Today, all human self-knowledge is really like the extreme case I mentioned last time during our discussion, involving a university professor who recounts how, as a young man, he was walking down the street and suddenly saw a young man with a terribly unpleasant face approaching him, and how he was startled when he saw that he had seen himself through the combination of two mirrors that showed him his own physiognomy coming toward him; so that one can see that he had no idea what he looked like according to his external physiognomy, which was extremely unpleasant to him. I have already mentioned how he recounts a second similar case. But it is really no different with what we call our more precise self-knowledge. That which sets out with us on the path of world migration when we have passed through the gate of death, our I, our astral body, eludes observation during our physical life; for when we wake up, this I and this astral body do not reveal themselves to us. They do not reveal themselves to us in their true form, but rather as they are reflected in the images that the etheric body and the physical body project from the I and the astral body. We would indeed be able to see our astral being and our I in their true form between falling asleep and waking up, if we were not in a state of unconscious sleep. Even dreams, as they occur in ordinary life, are only imperfect reflections of our being, because they are reflections of what takes place in our astral body from our etheric body, and because we first need to understand the language of dreams, so to speak, in order to interpret them correctly. Then, of course, if we understand the language of dreams, we can gain knowledge about our true nature from the dream processes. But in our ordinary life we are accustomed to simply accepting the images of dreams. This is no more intelligent than if we did not really read a text, but took it according to the signs of the letters, describing the letters.

That which is our true nature eludes us during our life between birth and death. We must be clear that all the feelings and all the emotions of the will that lead us to our actions, to our deeds, but also to our judgments, to our views of the world, lie in our astral body and in our ego. There, in the depths of our being, where our astral body and our true self reside, we have a whole world of emotions, a whole world of feelings, of impulses of will. But what we form as our own view of these emotions, impulses of will, and feelings in everyday life is mostly, really mostly, quite distant from what we truly are in the innermost part of our being.

Let us take the following example. It can certainly happen in life that two people meet, two people live together for a long time, and that through the peculiar forces which play from the unknown of the astral body and the ego of one person into the astral body and the ego of the other person—these forces remain hidden, of course—that out of these forces one person has a veritable desire to torment the other, a kind of need for cruelty. It may now be the case that the personality who has such a desire to torment, such a need for cruelty, is completely unaware of these emotions in the astral body and ego, and that they construct a whole set of ideas about the things they do out of their cruelty, which explain their actions by reasons entirely different from the cruelty itself. Such a personality may tell you that they did this or that to another personality for this or that reason. These reasons may be very astute, and yet they are not there to express the truth. For the concepts we form in ordinary life about the motives of our own actions, even of our own feelings, are, as I have said, often very, very remote from what really lives and works within us. Yes, it may be that the Luciferic power actually prevents the personality in question from becoming clear about its need for cruelty, about its need to inflict all kinds of harm on the other personality, and that under the influence of this Luciferic power, everything that this personality says about the reasons for its actions is only there to serve as a cover, a veil. to inflict all kinds of things on other personalities, and that under the influence of this Luciferic power, everything this personality says about the reasons for its actions is only there to spread a blanket, a mask, over what is really present in the soul.

The reasons we give in our consciousness can often be intended precisely to conceal from ourselves, to cover up what really lives and moves in our soul. Often these reasons also have the character of wanting to defend ourselves against ourselves, because we would find ourselves as unsympathetic as that professor found his own physiognomy. We would find ourselves unsympathetic if we had to admit to ourselves what drives and emotions actually rule our souls. And because we need to protect ourselves from seeing our own spiritual essence, we invent all kinds of things with the help of Lucifer that really do protect us, protect us by numbing us to what really rules our souls. Just as it is true that what appears to us in the outer world becomes a Maya through the peculiarity of our faculty of imagination, so it is also true that what we tell ourselves about ourselves is, for the most part, a Maya in ordinary life.

In particular, certain inner drives and needs of our inner being lead us to deceive ourselves again and again about this being. Let us assume that a personality is vain, suffers from a certain vain megalomania. There are said to be quite a few such personalities in the world. This is acknowledged. But if we did not put a mask over what we actually carry in our souls in the manner just described, we would admit even more that there is vain megalomania in many souls, in many souls who have no idea, absolutely no idea, of it.

Such megalomania desires many things; but when I say “desires,” understand me well: this desire does not come to consciousness; this desire remains entirely in the background. Such a personality may desire to have a certain dominant influence over one personality or another, but because it would have to admit to itself that this urge for dominant influence over another personality is vain megalomania, the personality in question does not admit this to itself. Now, unconsciously of course, it has to appeal to those seductive forces that Lucifer is able to exert incessantly on the human soul. And under the unconscious influence of Lucifer, such a personality never comes to say to itself: What is in me, what creates in me the desire to dominate others, is vain megalomania. They do not say this to themselves; instead, under the influence of Lucifer, they often invent a whole system to explain their feelings, which they perceive as dark but do not want to admit to themselves. Thus, this person feels certain feelings for this or that personality, but cannot admit to themselves that they actually want to dominate this personality and cannot do so because it perhaps cannot be dominated. Under the influence of Lucifer, the soul invents a system. It invents the system that the personality in question is plotting something evil against it, and paints a detailed picture of the things that this personality is supposed to be plotting; it feels persecuted by this or that personality. But this whole system of judgments and concepts is a mask, it is only there to cover up, to conceal in a shell, a real Maya, that which should not come up from the inner life of the soul.

A man once told me about a series of actions he had taken, saying that he had done them all out of the strictest sense of duty, out of infinite devotion to the cause he was supposed to represent. I replied: What you think about the motives for your actions is completely irrelevant. The only thing that is decisive for judging a person's behavior is reality, not what he thinks about his actions. But in this case, reality showed that the cause of this action was also the urge, the tendency to gain a decisive influence in a certain direction. I told the person concerned quite openly: While you believe you are acting out of a strong sense of duty, you are acting out of impulse, out of a selfish urge to gain influence, and you interpret this behavior as purely dutiful and selfless. You do what you do not because it is so, but because it pleases you, because it gives you a certain pleasure, that is, again out of a selfish impulse.”

Thus, what reigns and weaves in our soul can be extremely complicated and not even remotely similar to our opinion or our conception of ourselves. This can be very, very complicated. You will admit from the outset that it is necessary to know this if we want to live in a world of truth, not in a world of Maya, and that it is also necessary to express this in a radical manner from time to time. The reasons that drive us to act, the real, true reasons, can only gradually and slowly become clear to us when we truly learn to recognize the secret connections between human beings and the world through spiritual science.

Let us take a very specific case. You will all have heard that there are people in the world who are called chatterboxes. You will all have heard that there are people somewhere in the world who can be called chatterboxes. If you ask such chatterboxes why they get together in their coffee klatches or elsewhere and talk so endlessly — they are even said to talk much more than they can account for — if you ask such people, you will hear many reasons why they have to discuss this or that. You can get to know people you meet on the street, hurrying here and there to get somewhere quickly; and when you find out what they are up to, you see that it is often just the urge to engage in the most vain, useless, and stupid chatter. If you ask such personalities for their reasons, these reasons will often sound extremely beautiful, nice, wonderful, but at the very least they will be very suitable for concealing the true facts. Now let us point to these true facts.

What happens when we chatter—when we talk, the same thing happens, of course—what happens then? Well, you see, through our respiratory organs, through our speech organs, we set the air in motion in a way that corresponds to the forms of words. We generate these physical waves within ourselves, and of course the corresponding etheric waves, because when we speak, something very significant always happens in the etheric body. We generate physical waves, the air waves, and then the etheric waves that correspond to our words, that give expression to our words. Imagine this very clearly: while you are sitting there—no, not you, excuse me!—while a person is sitting there with a cup of coffee on the table in front of them, they set an entire inner organism in motion, that inner organism which corresponds to the form of expression, the outer physical and etheric form of expression of their words. He actually has something within him that ripples and weaves; he creates this within himself, but he also feels it, he senses it. He senses this movement of the physical and etheric bodies because the astral body and the I continually bump against them. The astral body constantly collides with the etheric wave and becomes aware of it, and the ego even constantly collides with the physical wave of the air, so that while we speak, the astral body and the ego are constantly touching something, attacking something.

In this touching, in this grasping, we become aware of our ego and our astral body, and this is the highest feeling of well-being for human beings: when they can enjoy themselves. In this touching of the astral body and the ego with the etheric body and the physical body, something similar happens as in the small case of a child licking a candy, for the pleasant, sympathetic feeling of licking candy consists in the fact that the astral body touches what is going on in the physical body, and the human being thus becomes aware of himself. One becomes aware of oneself in this process; one enjoys oneself.

It is really self-enjoyment that those rush to when they sit down in front of their cup of coffee to chat for an hour or two. It is therefore self-enjoyment that people are seeking.

You cannot become aware of these things unless you know that human beings are actually four-membered beings and that all four members are involved in all activities in the outer world.

There may be something else at work here in various ways. We have seen from the example of chatting just mentioned how human beings have the urge to enjoy themselves by bringing their astral body and their ego into contact with the etheric body and the physical body. But human beings also often feel the need to bring their astral body into contact with the etheric body alone. The etheric body must then generate movement in a certain way, generate inner activity, so that the astral body can bump into it. Such things happen much more in the subconscious than other things. There is an urge in human beings to bump their astral body — of which they are not conscious — against the etheric body. This urge manifests itself in the most curious ways: we experience that one or another young man — in recent times it is said to occur in young women as well — cannot rest until he has been pressed. It is sometimes an immensely pleasant feeling to see oneself in print, but it is mainly a pleasant feeling because in seeing oneself in print one indulges in a most terrible illusion, namely that one will also be read! Now, the latter is not always the case, since one is not necessarily read when one is printed, but at least one believes it, and that gives one an immensely pleasant feeling. And many a young man, and, as I said, many a young lady, cannot bear it and are constantly restless until they are printed. What does that mean?

Yes, you see, it means that when we are printed and actually read—which, as we know, happens only in the rarest of cases these days—then our thoughts pass into other people, then our thoughts live on in other people's souls. But these thoughts live in the etheric bodies of other people. But in ourselves, the thought takes hold: what you yourself had as a thought in your etheric body now lives out there in the world. One has the feeling that our own thoughts live out there in the world. If they really live out there, if they really exist out there, in other words, if what we have printed is actually read, then it exerts an influence on our own etheric body, and then we come into contact with what lives out there in the world. Because it lives in our own etheric body, we collide with our own astral body. This is a completely different kind of collision than when we collide only with our own thoughts; humans do not always have the strength to do this, because these thoughts must be drawn from our own being with a certain amount of energy. But when thoughts live outside, when we can be conscious that the thoughts that originate from us live out there, then our astral body collides, at least in our belief, with what is of us in the outer world. This is an eminently self-indulgent act. This self-indulgence is the basis of all thirst for fame, all thirst for recognition, all thirst for prestige in the world. This urge for self-gratification is based on nothing other than a need to encounter the objective thoughts of our etheric body with our astral body and thus become aware of ourselves in this encounter. You see what a complicated process, a process between the astral body and the etheric body, underlies what plays a certain role in the outer world.

These things are not, of course, said in order to hold them up before your soul as a scarecrow for the moral judgment of humanity. That is certainly not their purpose, for everything that has been said so far belongs to the normal peculiarities of life. It is simply self-evident that when we speak, we also enjoy ourselves, even if our speech does not consist of chatter. It is also quite natural that when we have something to say to the world, not out of a desire for fame but because we feel obliged to do so, and we have it printed, we also come into contact with the thoughts of our etheric body; the same process is at work. One must not therefore conclude that one should always flee from these processes, that one must always regard them as something immoral, for I mean all this only symbolically. If human beings were to flee from everything that invades them from the Luciferic and Ahrimanic sides, they would have to—I mean this symbolically—jump out of their skin as soon as they became aware of it. It is quite natural that Lucifer and Ahriman exert no other influences on us than those which are fully legitimate and normal influences in human life, except that Lucifer and Ahriman carry them out in a distorted way, as I have explained in various lecture cycles.

But if you take all this to heart, you will see how infinitely manifold, how infinitely complicated are those threads in life that play from human soul to human soul, and which in turn play from the human soul out into the world, how infinitely complicated it all is. But at the same time, you will say to yourself how little, how very little human beings really know about their relationship to other human beings and to the world through what they perceive and imagine. What we imagine about ourselves is really only a very small part of what we experience. And this imagination is mostly an illusion. Only by making spiritual science a real asset in our lives, rather than a theory, can we actually get behind the illusion and gain some insight into what is constantly going on within us. But the fact that we have only a small, and mostly untrue, glimpse of the fabric in which we are woven in relation to the world does not change things; things are as they are. All these hidden forces, this hidden web from human soul to human soul, from human beings to the various agencies of the world, all of that is there, all of that plays into the human soul every minute of our waking and sleeping lives. And you can judge for yourselves how much work is needed to arrive at a real understanding of human nature.

But it is one of the nuances of feeling that we need if we want to feel correctly about that which does not belong to earthly incarnation but to eternity, that we make such observations as we have just made. For it is by acquiring such nuances of feeling that we become aware of what the conflicts that arise in life are actually based on. These conflicts, which life brings with it and which rightly become the content of poetry and other art, are based precisely on the fact that an unknown, hidden wave of togetherness extends around us, in which we swim through life, and that only a small part of this reaches our consciousness, and this part is usually distorted.

But we cannot live according to this small section; we must live with our whole soul according to the great, manifold ramifications that exist in life. And with that come conflicts. How can this small section, which in many cases is distorted, how can it relate correctly to human life, how can it correctly understand what actually exists in human life? Because it cannot, it happens that human beings must come into conflict with life. But where reality plays out, truth also plays out. Reality does not conform to the ideas we have of it. And the moment there is some opportunity for reality to come into play, we see in countless cases how this reality, I would say, often mercilessly corrects our conceptual Maya. And this kind of correction, which reality bestows on our conceptual Maya, offers the most significant reproaches for art, for poetry.

In keeping with the train of thought of today's reflection, I would now like to start with something artistic, first something poetic, and then move on to tomorrow's lecture with a reflection on life between death and rebirth, and then on Sunday, in a broader sense, to the artistic that is connected with our constitution.

I do not want to start with something arbitrarily artistic, but with something that illustrates in the most eminent sense what I have to present to you as insight into the reality of spiritual life. But I choose the example I choose because it truly captures reality in an excellent little work of art. Only the occultist can judge whether this is the case, because we see in this small work of art how, when the human being as artist attempts to penetrate the deeper problems of life, he often cannot help but touch upon the occult aspects of life, which, in the conflicts I have spoken of, rise up from the depths like waves into life, which we often penetrate so little with our conscious mind.

What is important to me artistically and occultly is actually only contained at the end of a novella, which I would like to mention merely as an example. Therefore, I will only sketch the beginning narratively and then read the closing words. It is not just a matter of talking about a piece of poetry, but of talking about this piece of poetry because here a poet has, for once, brought to light what could be, according to the truest occult laws.

Since the novella was written in the 1860s, you will see from the facts I am about to present how what we refer to as spiritual science has always been reflected in human consciousness in a certain way, how it has been preparing itself, how it must necessarily come into our cultural movement on Earth, and how that which is to come to fuller consciousness through spiritual science has been reflected, at least unconsciously, in many souls. Perhaps such a soul already knew something of this, but because the time was not yet ripe, it did not dare to express this knowledge in any other way than in the unpretentious form of poetry. In the present day, one is much more forgiving when someone presents occult facts in the form of a novel or a poem. Even in our materialistic age, this is much more easily forgiven than when someone comes forward with the truth and says that these things are real. If people can say to themselves, “Well, it's only fiction,” then they are sometimes willing to accept things.

The novella contains the following. It is written as if one of the characters in the novella were telling the story himself. It is a so-called “first-person novella.” The protagonist recounts how he is friends with Mademoiselle Manon de Gaussin—the novella is set in Paris—and how, at a certain time, he frequents the home of Mademoiselle de Gaussin, who is a celebrated singer. He recounts how he meets a wide variety of people there, admirers of the lady of the house, including a man who is always there when one enters Mademoiselle de Gaussin's salon. But the narrator of the novella notices that this man has more than just friendly feelings for the lady, and he also realizes that these feelings are not reciprocated by the singer. And what happens there happens in the most varied ways; it is actually a conflict that arises from the fact that there is a man who is passionately in love with the singer, whose love is not reciprocated, but who is not simply rejected, who is actually drawn more and more into the situation, but who thereby becomes more and more restless and agitated.

This is noticed by the narrator of the novella, who is not the author of the novella—it is a so-called “first-person novella”—and he means well by the “other.” It should be mentioned that the actual “I” in the novella is engaged and plans to marry in the next few weeks, so that jealousy is, of course, out of the question. The “I” in the novella means well by the other and one day explains the situation to him. This opens the other's eyes, so to speak, and he feels compelled to have a talk with the singer. This discussion results in him leaving the house and retreating to an area outside the city. But despite promising not to think about this lady anymore, to forget her and to occupy himself with all sorts of other things, he is no longer capable of doing so, no longer capable of escaping this restlessness. The thoughts that played in his mind during his acquaintance with the lady keep coming back again and again. He leaves the city and lives outside for a while. During this time, the narrator of the novella gets married and then has to go on a trip. On this trip, he meets the other man, finds him in a terrible state in a hotel. The other man tells him—this comes out as they talk—how he has just withdrawn from Paris, how he tried to live alone for a while, how he then went for a ride outside his estate, how he unfortunately met the lady's traveling party, who was also outside Paris, how all his feelings were rekindled, and how he is now actually walking around with two revolvers to end his life at the first opportunity.

The narrator of the novella still means well by this other man and invites him to come and stay with him where he has made his home, hoping to be able to distract him. The man in question accepts the invitation, which would provide him with a pleasant environment in the hospitable home. However, he cannot come to terms with himself; instead, he sinks further and further into despair and finally decides to commit suicide. The two friends talk to each other, and the narrator of the novella persuades the other man to at least grant himself a little more time. The narrator of the novella says he has to go away, and because he does not want to say, “Wait until I come back”—the other man might not do so and shoot himself in the meantime—he extracts a binding promise from him. He says, “Protect my wife until I return.”

After the other man has made his promise, he travels to Paris with the idea of persuading the singer to come out to the country so that something might happen to get his friend out of his miserable situation. So he goes to the city and returns to the country with the singer. They drive to the fence of the country house belonging to the narrator of the novella. At the moment when the fence allows them to see, the narrator of the novella notices a man who had been standing at the gate running back. They drive on toward the house, and a shot is fired. The other man has kept his promise and faithfully guarded the woman. However, he had posted a guard who was to report immediately if the traveler returned. He tells him: “He's coming back.” — Then he shot himself.

So the narrator of the novella brings the singer into the house, and from this point on I will read you the words.

”... In the evening we reached the castle. I noticed that as I drove into the park, a farmer who was waiting for us ran toward the castle at lightning speed, and that as we had barely passed the middle of the avenue, a shot rang out. However, I was so elated by the success of my undertaking that it did not even occur to me what it meant. The surprise was not to be denied me for long; we drove up, no one came to meet us; the coachman banged the box, I jumped out, Gaussin after me; the first thing we heard was the cry of my wife's chambermaid, who came toward us, pale as death, and sank down before us with the cry, “He has shot himself.” We hurried to the marquis's room, which was full of people. I sent them all out, closed the door, and stood alone with Manon beside the young man's body, which lay on the floor. She stared at him for a few moments, then let out a cry, sank to her knees, and fell to the floor beside him. She did not faint. She took his hands, laid hers on his forehead—he had been shot in the middle of his chest—looked up at me, then down at him, and suddenly began to sing in a loud voice. This filled me with horror; I thought she had gone mad.

Meanwhile, one of my stewards arrived, who knew something of medicine and usually served as a doctor when there was not much risk involved. I will never forget the terror of death that was written on his face when he saw the couple, the dead Marquis and the singing Gaussin beside him. She was silent now, stood up, looked at me once more for a long time, and left the room. I followed her to receive her orders. She said, “I must have a room to myself! I led her to the first room I could find, had her maid fetched, and hurried to my wife. Fortunately, I heard that she was out for a walk, so I went to meet her and told her what had happened. Since we had often talked about the marquis and had considered all the possibilities, including such an end, she was less frightened than saddened. I accompanied her to the castle and gave my orders concerning the marquis. The body had been laid on a bier, and his servant sat beside it, weeping bitterly and saying, “My master told me that he would not shoot himself until you returned. That reassured me. Then he secretly arranged with Jean to watch the carriage. He did so, and no sooner had he come running with the news that the carriage had entered the park than my master stood up, made a mark in the book he was reading, reached into his pocket, gave him a louis d'or, took the pistol from the table, and went into the other room; no sooner had he closed the door behind him than he was dead.” I reproached myself. Perhaps I could have saved him if I had acted more decisively. If Gaussin had arrived at the right time, we might not have experienced this misfortune. I also thought: Perhaps Providence wanted to spare him from something even more terrible; for even if the singer had decided to marry him, and I believe she would have done so, although she assured me of this only afterwards, the calamities that such a step would have entailed would not have been averted and could have brought misery in their wake that would have made everything else seem desirable.

I went to her. She was composed; one could not see much, so to speak. She discussed with me the Marquis' state of mind and his natural disposition to such a sad end. But as composed as she was, I felt that the inner shock she had received had been very strong, and I feared the after-effects. I introduced her to my wife, we ate together, and retired.

The next morning, the change in her was striking. She said she felt well, but her appearance was so haggard and her demeanor so devastated that her words belied her claims. She spoke of leaving soon and asked to be given another room for the following night. This was done; we spent the day quietly, and she did not retire until all the arrangements for her departure had been made.

The next day she did not come to breakfast. The chambermaid asked me to come to her mistress's bed. She greeted me with a faint smile and was so pale and hollow-eyed that I could not hide my surprise.

“Dear friend,” she said, ”you find me looking ill and do not want to admit it?”

“Do you not find it natural?”

Yes, you are always so sensitive and reserved. But there is no point in hiding it here. I feel death within me.

My dearest friend! I exclaimed in horror. I feel it too, for I have seen the marquis for two nights now. Awake! Approaching me! He is pulling me after him!

I looked at her attentively. There was nothing exaggerated in her eyes, nothing insane in her voice.

When I saw him lying in his blood, she continued, the feeling that I was to blame for this misfortune became so powerful that I cried out because I could no longer bear it. It was as if something incredibly urgent was calling me: You are to blame! You murdered him! So, just to stop hearing that voice, I began to sing, louder and louder, but I couldn't drown it out. I hear it over and over again. At night I couldn't sleep; I lay there and looked at the shadows cast by the furniture in the light of the night lamp. Then the door flew open, leaving only a thin dark strip. Through it, the Marquis slipped in like a wisp of smoke; his eyes were closed, he floated or walked slowly toward me, stood next to my bed, as real as you are, with his eyes closed. I didn't want to look at him, but he forced me to; I had to fix my eyes on him; then he suddenly opened his eyes and looked at me; I couldn't bear it and lost consciousness. Last night the same thing happened. I can't stand it much longer! I feel as if he is sucking the life out of me with his eyes.

I tried to talk her out of the apparition with all the arguments of physics, philosophy, and religion, but she remained firm... I am determined to leave, she said, perhaps his shadow is only bound to this house. I opposed this. I could not let her travel alone, nor could I leave my wife again, who was expecting a child. I therefore suggested that she move into my steward's house and promised to watch over her bed the following night. She finally allowed herself to be persuaded, stood up, and staggered around like a shadow.

In the evening, when she had gone to bed, the chambermaid called me to her. I had a table with lights set up near her bed, a folding screen placed around it, and after talking with her for a while, I began to read a book. She seemed to be asleep, the lights were dim; I cleaned her, drank some wine and water, and looked at the door. Suddenly—it was made of old wood and not very sturdy—it sprang open; the latch must not have been properly secured. I wanted to go quietly to close it silently, when I turned toward Mademoiselle de Gaussin and saw her sitting upright in bed with her eyes fixed on me. She stretched out her arms toward me, clung to mine, and pointed straight ahead:

There he is!

There was absolutely nothing to be seen.

Where? I said.

There!

I broke free from her and stepped to the spot.

Here?

Come, she cried, he's standing in front of you!

I was beside her in a bound.

“Cover my eyes, I can't bear it! There he is! He's touching your knees!”

I pressed both her hands over her eyes, she was breathing heavily, but there was nothing to see.

After a while, she pushed my hands away. “I have to see if he's still there,” she said quietly.

“There's nothing there, my dear friend!” I replied, letting go of her. She looked around.

“He's gone again! Oh, if he comes back a few more times like that, he'll soon be able to get comfortable. We'll sneak through the doors arm in arm.”

This idea made me shudder. She lay back and declared that she would certainly leave the next day and go to a convent. I tried to talk her out of it. Go to Paris, I said, there you will be forgotten ...

I deserve it! she interrupted me; I also deserve it that you make such a suggestion to me. I will never forget that! Him, perhaps, if he stopped tormenting me, but my guilt—that remains firmly fixed!

Your guilt is as good as none, I said. That he loved you was a twist of fate; that you did not love him was not in your power to change; that you believed him cured was only natural, given his pretense.

“Oh,” she cried, ”can a mother ever console herself who has let her child fall into the water? Do you think it was only evil will that made me guilty? Couldn't all remorse be washed away with the thought of a higher necessity? If God makes us guilty, he also wants us to bear the consequences. It is said that I will hear these chains rattling forever.”

I soon ran out of reasons. She left the castle, and I did not accompany her. The birth of a son tore me away from all my gloomy thoughts. I celebrated this happy event with festivities; the christening, the early education, and caring for my wife took up all my time, so that everyone will understand why I made no inquiries about the unhappy, beautiful creature whom I did, of course, think of from time to time. One day I received a package from Paris, which had been delivered to my manager there under my address. It contained a case and a letter, both sealed. I opened the latter first; it contained only a few lines.

Dearest friend!

When you receive this, I will no longer be alive. I knew that the marquis would summon me. Even though he no longer came to disturb my nights, I carried something in my soul that took his place. Tell your wife that I would have liked to remember nothing more than her kindness towards me. Protect your son from people like me. Find a quiet place for the enclosed picture. You need not break the seal. I did not want to destroy it; it should not fall into the wrong hands. Look at it and think that perhaps I did have a heart after all.

Manon de Gaussin.

I opened the case and the unhappy girl, who had been reported to me as recently deceased, beamed at me with all the charm she possessed in her most beautiful days. Tears came to my eyes and I thought of all the happy hours I had spent in her home."

Well, here we have a very accurate description of how the etheric body of a deceased person appears to another person, a very accurate description. Immediately after death, Manon de Gaussin saw the walking etheric body of the deceased. From this apparition—I just wanted to show you how it was dealt with in a novella from the 1860s—so, from the apparition of the etheric body of a dead person, and from what we can learn from such a fact about the secret, hidden relationship that can exist between people, we will move on to further considerations tomorrow. Try to feel how, behind what was present in Manon de Gaussin's consciousness in the excerpt from Maja, a vast realm is at play, and how, in the hours immediately following the Marquis' death, what emerged from this vast realm of waves was what appeared to be an encounter with the etheric body of the deceased.

Yes, this etheric body of the human being is more intimately related to the manifold relationships in which we are woven into the universe than what we carry of it in our self-knowledge and consciousness.