The Rudolf Steiner Archive

6. The Transformation of Judgment, Feeling, and Will

[ 1 ] The point is that we should take this lecture series in the right sense, that is, view it as an exploration of experiences that a person undergoes as changes within themselves during their esoteric development—or, let us say, the development brought about in them through anthroposophy—so that what is described can certainly be regarded as something that can truly be experienced during that development.

[ 2 ] Naturally, only striking experiences—so to speak, typical experiences—can be analyzed; it is only through these most significant experiences that one can gain a mental image of various other phenomena that can be observed in the course of development. Yesterday we spoke mainly about how human beings acquire a finer sensitivity to what takes place in the outer life-ether or in the ether in general. These experiences are linked to many others, and one experience that deserves special attention is what we do with regard to our power of judgment.

[ 3 ] Isn't it true that, as human beings, we stand in the world in such a way that we judge the things that come our way in a certain way, that we form mental images about them, that we consider one thing to be right and another to be wrong? How a person is able to judge things depends, of course, on what is generally referred to as wisdom, intelligence, and discernment. This wisdom, this intelligence, this discernment gradually, in the course of development, takes on a different light. This was already hinted at a little yesterday. One finds more and more that, for the actual matters of the higher, spiritual life, precisely this wisdom, this intelligence, is of not the slightest value, although one must bring as much of it as possible from one’s starting point, from the physical plane, if one wishes to embark on the path to the higher worlds. And so one finds oneself in a situation that may easily seem unbearable to the utilitarian: that one initially needs something quite necessarily for higher development, and yet, once one is immersed in this higher development, it loses its value. One must therefore, so to speak, do everything possible to first develop a healthy power of judgment here on the physical plane that does justice to the facts, but must then be clear that, while dwelling in the higher worlds, even this power of judgment does not have the same value as it does down here on the physical plane. If one wishes to have healthy higher senses, one must start from a healthy power of judgment; but this healthy power of judgment must transform itself into healthy perception for higher perception.

[ 4 ] However, no matter how much we develop, as long as we must remain on the physical plane, we are beings of this physical plane, and on this physical plane we have the task of developing our power of judgment in a healthy way. Therefore, we must take great care to learn in good time not to confuse life in the higher worlds with life on the physical plane. Anyone who seeks to apply directly to the physical plane what they experience in the higher worlds will easily become a dreamer, a useless person. We must accustom ourselves to being able to live clearly in the higher world and then, when we step out of the state of that life in the higher worlds, to adhere as much as possible to what is right for the physical plane. And this dual stance, which is demanded by the very dual nature of spiritual and physical life, we must carry out carefully and conscientiously. We accustom ourselves to a proper attitude toward the world in this regard by avoiding, as much as possible, the habit of mixing into our daily interactions that which belongs to the higher world; by mixing as little as possible into our daily interactions of what one is so easily tempted to do: for example, saying that if one finds something about a person unsympathetic, one cannot tolerate their aura. It is better to stick to ordinary expressions for ordinary life, saying that one finds this or that unsympathetic. It is better, in this regard, to remain a human being on the physical plane among other human beings on the physical plane and to use expressions—which are, of course, entirely accurate in relation to the higher life—sparingly in ordinary life. One should take great care to avoid mixing words, concepts, and mental images belonging to the higher life into daily interactions. This might perhaps appear as a kind of pedantic demand to someone who—well, let us say—out of a certain enthusiasm for spiritual life finds it necessary to permeate one’s entire being with this spiritual life; and yet: What might seem pedantic in an ordinary case for ordinary life is an important educational principle for the higher worlds.

[ 5 ] Therefore, if it seems more natural to us to describe ordinary life using the language of the higher life, let us translate that into a language as suitable as possible for the physical plane! It must be emphasized again and again that these things are not indifferent, but meaningful and effective. If one accepts this premise, then one can also speak freely about how, in relation to life in the higher worlds, ordinary judgment loses its value, how one learns, so to speak, that the way one used to be wise must now come to an end. And then one realizes once again—this is an experience one has more and more—one’s dependence on the etheric life of the world, namely on time. How often does it happen, especially in our age, that people—let’s say—of a certain youth set about everything, everything that can be judged in the world, and now believe: Yes, once one has acquired a certain capacity for judgment, then one can say yes or no to everything, then one can philosophize about all manner of things. — This belief that one can philosophize about all manner of things is thoroughly torn from the soul in the course of esoteric development; for there one realizes that our judgments actually have something essential about them that requires, above all, maturation. One learns to recognize that one must simply live with certain mental images one has taken in for a time, so that one’s own etheric body can grapple with them if one wishes to arrive at a judgment with which one can oneself agree. One realizes that one must wait before arriving at a certain judgment. Only then does one grasp the full, complete meaning of the phrase: allowing that which is the content of the soul to mature. And, fundamentally speaking, one becomes ever more and more humble.

[ 6 ] It is, however, such a peculiar thing with this growing humility, because one cannot always strike a balance between the need to judge and the ability to wait for the maturity to form a judgment on any given matter, because one is also greatly mistaken precisely about these things, and because there is actually nothing more reliable than life itself, which can enlighten one about these matters. It can happen—let’s say—that in a question concerning some mystery of the world, some law of the world, a philosopher may confront someone who is esoterically developed to a certain degree. If the philosopher can only pass his philosophical judgment, he will eventually come to believe within himself that he must be right about a certain matter, and one will understand that he must hold this belief. The other person will know full well: with the capacity for judgment that the philosopher can muster, the question cannot be decided at all. For he knows that he has absorbed within himself the mental images the philosopher has concocted into a judgment in times past, that he has allowed them to mature within himself, and that this alone has given him the possibility of having a view of the matter; he knows that he has lived with the matter and that through this he has made himself ready for this judgment, which he now passes at a higher stage of maturity. But understanding between the two is actually impossible; in many cases, it cannot be brought about directly at all; it can only be brought about when a feeling arises in the philosopher regarding the necessity of allowing certain inner contents to mature before one may form an opinion about them. Opinions, views—as one learns to recognize more and more—must be fought for, must be won. To this end, one acquires a deep, intense feeling, and this stems from the fact that one develops this inner sense of time, which is essentially connected with the development of the etheric body.

[ 7 ] Yes, one gradually begins to sense a certain conflict arising within the soul between the way one used to judge things and the way one judges them now, having attained a certain maturity in the matter at hand; and one notices how what one was able to judge in the past and what one judges now stand opposed to one another like two forces, and one then notices a certain inner fluidity of the temporal within oneself; one notices how the later must overcome the earlier. This is the dawning of a certain sense of time in consciousness, which arises through the presence of inner struggles, but which arise only because the later comes into a certain contrast with the earlier. It is absolutely necessary to acquire this as an inner sense of time, as an inner perception of time; for we must hold fast to the fact that we can only learn to experience the ethereal if we acquire an inner concept of time.

[ 8 ] Furthermore, we have a certain experience: we always feel that the former stems from within ourselves—in our judgment, in our understanding—while the latter has, as it were, flowed into us, has come to us as a countercurrent, has been bestowed upon us. The feeling mentioned yesterday becomes ever clearer: that the cleverness that originates from within oneself must be replaced by the wisdom acquired through a kind of surrender to a stream flowing toward one from the future. Feeling filled with thoughts, in contrast to what one did before, when one lived in the consciousness of creating one’s own thoughts—this testifies to progress. As one learns more and more to feel that one no longer creates thoughts, but rather that thoughts think themselves within one, having this feeling is a sign that the etheric body is gradually developing within itself the necessary inner sense of time. Everything from the past will have the aftertaste of what was done selfishly; everything attained through maturation will have the aftertaste of burning away what one has made oneself, of consuming what one has made oneself. And so one gradually transforms one’s inner life into a most remarkable experience: one becomes increasingly aware that one’s own thinking, one’s own act of thinking, must be suppressed because it is something inferior, and that surrendering to the thoughts flowing toward one from the cosmos is what is truly valuable.

[ 9 ] One’s inner life loses, so to speak, one of its components—and this is of extraordinary importance—it loses the component we prefer to call “self-thinking,” and all that remains is self-feeling, self-sensation, and self-will. But these, too, undergo a transformation at the same time as thinking. One no longer forms one’s thoughts; rather, they form themselves within the soul. With the sense that thoughts possess their own forces through which they form themselves, a certain convergence of feeling and will arises. Feeling—one might say—becomes increasingly active, and will becomes increasingly emotional. Feeling and will become more closely related to one another than they were previously on the physical plane. One can no longer grasp a volitional impulse without developing a feeling along with it. Some of what one does produces a bitter feeling, while other things produce an uplifting feeling. Simultaneously with one’s will, one feels within oneself an emotional judgment regarding one’s own volitional impulses. Feelings that exist merely for the sake of pleasure gradually come to be experienced as a kind of reproach; but feelings that are perceived in such a way that one tells oneself that, as a human soul, one must provide the setting for such feelings—one must experience them inwardly, otherwise they would not exist in the universe—such feelings are gradually found to be more justified than the others.

[ 10 ] Let us take a specific example right away—a radical one, in fact—so that what is meant may become quite clear. Anyone—and this is not meant to trivialize the matter, but merely to express it in radical terms—anyone could truly take pleasure in a good meal. When they experience this joy, something happens to them—that is quite certain—but not much changes in the fabric of the world, in the cosmos, whether the individual experiences this joy in a good meal or not; it makes little difference to the general life of the world. But if someone takes up the Gospel of John and reads just three lines from it, that makes an enormous difference to the entire universe; for if, for example, no one among the souls on Earth were to read the Gospel of John, the entire mission of the Earth could not be fulfilled: from our participation in such things radiate, spiritually, the forces that constantly bring new life to the Earth in contrast to what dies within it.

[ 11 ] One must learn to distinguish, in one’s experience, between what is merely selfish feeling and that in which we merely provide the setting for the experience of the feeling that must exist for existence in the world. Under certain circumstances, a person may do very little outwardly, but if, not for personal pleasure, but with a developed soul, he knows that the opportunity is given in his feeling for this feeling—which is important for worldly existence—to be present at all, then he is doing an extraordinary amount. As strange as it may seem, let the following also be said: There once was a Greek philosopher named Plato. Writings are attributed to him. As long as one lives with one’s soul solely on the physical plane, one reads these writings to learn from them. Such external instruction has its significance for the physical plane, and it is quite good to use everything possible to educate oneself on the physical plane, for otherwise one simply remains ignorant. The things accomplished on the physical plane are there so that one may learn from them. But when the soul has developed esoterically, then it takes—let us say—Plato and reads him for a different reason: namely, because Plato’s creations only had meaning in earthly existence if what he created is also experienced in souls; and one then reads not merely to learn, but because something is accomplished through it.

[ 12 ] We must therefore develop a capacity within ourselves that allows us to distinguish between selfish feelings, which tend more toward the pursuit of pleasure, and unselfish feelings, which appear to us as a spiritual obligation. This can even extend into our external life and our outward outlook on life. And here we come to a point that—one might say—shines from individual experience into social experience. When the person familiar with the mysteries of esotericism observes the goings-on of the outer world—how so many people waste the free time they have left instead of refining their feelings in connection with what comes to earthly existence from the spiritual creations— then the one who has undergone an esoteric development would like to weep over the dullness in human existence that passes by what is there to flow through human feeling and human perception. And in this realm, it is certainly worth noting that where these experiences begin, a certain finer egoism will already arise in human nature. In the next lectures we shall hear how this more subtle egoism is inclined to overcome itself; but it certainly appears at first as a more subtle egoism, and one will be able to experience for oneself during spiritual development that a kind of higher need for enjoyment arises, a need for enjoyment in relation to spiritual things and spiritual matters. And as grotesque as it may sound, it is nevertheless true: the person undergoing esoteric development tells himself, from a certain point onward—though he must not allow this awareness to develop into arrogance or vanity—he tells himself: What exists on Earth in the form of spiritual creations must be enjoyed by me; it is there to be enjoyed by me. That is how it should be. — And one gradually develops a certain craving for such spiritual pleasures. Esotericism will cause no harm in the world in this regard; for one can be assured that, even if such a craving for the spiritual creations of humanity arises, it will not be to the detriment of humanity.

[ 13 ] But something else also arises as a result. One gradually feels one’s own etheric body, as it were, awakening through the fact that one perceives one’s own thinking as something inferior, that one feels the thoughts flowing into one as if from the cosmos, from the cosmos interwoven with God. One feels more and more how will and feeling rise up from within oneself; one begins to feel egoity, in fact, only in will and feeling, while one perceives the gifts of wisdom—which one feels flowing through oneself—as something that connects one to the whole world. And then this experience is linked to another: one begins to experience this inner activity of feeling and will interwoven with inner sympathy and antipathy. The feeling becomes ever finer and finer in this regard: if you do this or that, it is a shame, since you do possess a certain measure of wisdom within you. — One can feel about other things: It is worthy to do them, since one feels this measure of wisdom. — An experience of self-control arising in feeling naturally sets in. A bitter feeling comes over one when one feels a will rising within oneself that urges one to do this or that, which does not seem justified in the face of the wisdom one has come to share. This bitter feeling is most clearly perceived in relation to what one has spoken; and it is good for those developing anthroposophically not to overlook this through inattention, for it is precisely in this regard that the entire inner life of feeling can be refined. While the person living an exoteric life, once they have spoken words, once they have said this or that, has also dismissed it, the person who has undergone esoteric development experiences a distinct aftereffect precisely in relation to what has been spoken: something like an inner sense of shame if they have uttered something incorrect in a moral or intellectual sense, something like a kind of gratitude—not self-satisfaction—if they have succeeded in saying something to which the wisdom they have attained can say “yes.” And if one feels—one also develops a subtle sense for this—that something like inner self-satisfaction or self-complacency arises when one has said something correct, then one takes this as evidence that one still harbors too much vanity within oneself, which is of no use in human development. One learns to distinguish between the feeling of satisfaction when one has said something with which one can agree, and the self-satisfaction that is of no use. One should try not to let this feeling arise, but rather to develop a sense of shame when one has said something incorrect or immoral, and a sense of gratitude for the wisdom that has been bestowed upon one—which one does not claim as one’s own, but rather as a gift from the universe—when one has succeeded in saying something appropriate to it.

[ 14 ] Gradually, one begins to feel this way about one’s own thinking as well. As was said earlier: one must remain a human being on the physical plane; so, in addition to not attaching too much value to one’s own thoughts, one must still form these thoughts; but this independent thinking is now also transforming, in such a way that one places it under the self-control just described. With a thought of which one can say: you have formed it and it is in keeping with wisdom—with this thought, one develops a feeling of gratitude toward wisdom. A thought that arises as an erroneous, ugly, immoral thought leads to a certain inner sense of shame, and one gets the feeling: “You can still be like this; it is still possible that you have so much egoism as to think this in the face of what has already entered you as wisdom!” — It is immensely important to feel this kind of self-control within oneself. This self-control has the peculiarity that it is never given to one by the critical mind, but always arises in feeling, in sensation.

[ 15 ] Let us take heed, my dear friends: the person who is merely intelligent, who possesses only the power of judgment regarding external life, who is critical—such a person can never arrive at the heart of the matter; for that must arise from feeling. When it arises in feeling, when one has attained this feeling, it is a feeling that rises as if from one’s own inner being; one then identifies with this feeling of shame or gratitude and feels one’s self connected to this feeling. And if I were to sketch out schematically what one experiences there, I would have to say that it is as if one felt wisdom flowing in from above, coming toward one from above, flowing into the head from the front, and then filling one from top to bottom. In contrast, one feels something like shame flowing toward one from one’s own body, so that one identifies with these feelings, and what is present as wisdom speaks to one as something given from outside; and one perceives within oneself a region where what is now the ego, this feeling, and the inflowing wisdom bestowed upon one meet.

[ 16 ] This region where the two come together can be experienced inwardly. If one feels this coming together, this is the true inner experience of the etheric world. One experiences how thoughts from the outer etheric world pour in—for this is the wisdom that flows toward us from the outer etheric world, which pours in and is perceived through these two feelings. This is the correctly perceived etheric world—and when we perceive it in this way, we ascend to the higher beings who descend only as far as an etheric body and not as far as a physical human body. — On the other hand, one can also experience this etheric world incorrectly in a certain way. The etheric world is correctly experienced between thinking and feeling, as has just been shown: the experience is thus a purely inner psychological process. The elemental or etheric world can be experienced incorrectly if one experiences it at the boundary between breathing and one’s own etheric body. If one performs breathing exercises too early or incorrectly, one gradually becomes a witness to one’s own breathing process. Through the breathing process one then perceives—whereas one otherwise breathes without perceiving it—one can acquire a sense of breathing that feels like oneself. And this sensation may be accompanied by a certain perception of the etheric world. Through all manner of breathing processes, one can acquire an experience, an observation of etheric processes that are real in the external world, but which belong to the lowest external psychic processes and which, if experienced too early, will never give one a true understanding of the true spiritual world.

[ 17 ] Certainly, from a certain point in esoteric practice, a regulated breathing process may also occur; but it must be guided in the proper way. Then it comes about that we perceive the etheric world, as has been described, at the boundary between thinking and feeling, and that what we come to know there is supported only by our also coming to know the gross etheric processes that take place at the boundary between the etheric world and our breathing process. For the fact is that there is a world of true higher spirituality; we reach it through that process described, between wisdom and feeling; there we ascend to the deeds performed in the etheric world by the beings of the higher hierarchies. But there is a great multitude of all manner of good and bad, adverse, dreadful, and harmful elemental beings who, if we become acquainted with them at the wrong time, impose themselves upon us as if they were truly a valuable spiritual world, whereas they are nothing other than, in a certain sense, the lowest fallen beings of the spiritual world. Anyone who wishes to enter the spiritual world must, of course, also become acquainted with these beings; but it is not good to become acquainted with them first. For the peculiar thing is this, my dear friends, that if one first becomes acquainted with these beings without taking the more difficult path of one’s own inner experience, then one develops a fondness for these beings, an immense fondness for these beings. And it may turn out that someone who, in an incorrect manner—namely through such physical training that can be called a modification of the breathing process—elevates themselves into the spiritual world to such an extent that they describe certain things from these spiritual worlds as they appear to them. And they describe them in such a way that some people accept them as something extraordinarily beautiful, while for the one who perceives them in inner experience, they can be terrifying and repulsive. These things are entirely possible in the experience of the spiritual world.

[ 18 ] There is no need to discuss here other practices that a person may undertake as a form of training and through which they may enter into evil worlds, since it is generally customary in the occultism to be proclaimed to the world not to speak of that which a person comes to know in the spiritual world as the dregs of that spiritual world. It is not necessary to enter this world spiritually; therefore, it is not customary to speak of the methods that go even deeper than the breathing process. Even the breathing process, if not carried out in the proper manner, leads directly into beings of the lower realms, which one should certainly come to know, but not first, because otherwise they might well inspire a certain infatuation in one that one should not have. One will only gain a proper, objective perspective on their value once one has entered the spiritual worlds from the other side.

[ 19 ] When one begins to feel, as it were, counter-feelings toward wisdom—feelings of shame, feelings of gratitude—welling up from within oneself, when these arise, as it were, from one’s own organism, then one thereby makes the first, most elementary acquaintance with something that must then be further explored in the course of one’s ongoing occult development. We pointed out yesterday that in the gradual experience of the etheric, we become acquainted with what is active in our brain-etheric body as the Amshaspands of the Zoroastrian teaching. In our terms, we can also say: We first come to know a concept for the active archangelic beings, for what these Archangeloi have to do within us. Through what accumulates there in the background, what wells up from within us in the feeling of gratitude and shame that has a personal character because it comes from within us—through this we gain the first elementary, true concept of what are called Archai or primal forces; for what the primal forces do within us, we experience in the manner just described in the most elementary way. Whereas, so to speak, in one’s mind, when one begins to experience the etheric, one first experiences the Archangels — one might say — in a shadowy way in their activities, in their etheric effects, in what wisdom brings to one’s attention and what gives one a jolt, one experiences the primal forces permeated with something will-like, yet not entirely will-like, which have drawn into one and which are at work within the human personality. One then gradually gains a sense of—if one learns to feel in this way—what the occultist means when he says: On the ancient incarnation of our Earth, on the old Saturn, the primal forces or spirits of the personality lived, so to speak, at their human level. At that time, these primal forces or spirits of personality were human beings. They have continued to develop. As they have developed, they have acquired the ability to work from the supersensible realm. And how do they unfold this power—which they have acquired as their development has progressed down to Earth—in our present time, in our Earth era?

[ 20 ] They have acquired the ability to work from the supersensible realm on our physical body, on our outer shell, in such a way that they bring about forces in our etheric body which manifest themselves as has been described. You have directed these forces into us, and when we feel today: We are organized in such a way that we can develop within ourselves the specific feelings of gratitude and shame as a natural inner process—this can become an experience within us—then we must say: In order for this to become an inner experience, so that our etheric body can pulsate in this way, so that it reacts to wisdom in this way, the primal forces have poured forces into it, just as humanity itself will one day, in the distant incarnations of our Earth, be able to imprint such capacities within the inner beings of other entities that will stand beneath it, for a corresponding physical form. What one needs to know about the higher worlds is acquired little by little through inner experience; it is acquired by our ascending, by our passing from physical experience into etheric experience. On ancient Saturn—let me mention this to clarify these matters—as you know, heat was, so to speak, the densest physical state, the only physical state that initially came into being during the middle Saturn period. And what was present at that time—you can read about this in my *Esoteric Science*—as Saturn’s effects in the physical realm were currents of warmth and cold. Psychically, in the soul, we can also address these currents of warmth and cold by saying: Warmth flowed, but this was the flowing gratitude of the spirits of the personality; or cold flowed, and this flowing cold, which flowed in a different direction, was the flowing sense of shame of the spirits of the personality. This is what we must gradually come to understand: that physical activity is connected with moral activity; for the further we enter into the higher worlds, the more these two things merge—the physical event, which is then no longer merely a physical event, and the moral event, which then flows through the world with the power of natural laws.

[ 21 ] Everything that has now been described as occurring in inner experience due to the transformed etheric body has another effect on the human soul. It causes this human soul to gradually begin to feel a sense of unease about the fact that one is this particular human being, this particular individual human being. It is important to learn to pay attention to this as well; and it is good to make it a principle to pay attention to it at all. For the less one has, prior to this stage of esoteric development, cultivated an interest in what concerns humanity in general, an interest in the universal human condition, the more disruptive one finds this as one progresses. A soul that has remained uninterested in the universal human condition and yet were to undergo esoteric development would increasingly perceive itself as a burden. A soul, for example, that is capable of passing through the world without compassion and without sharing in the joy or suffering of another soul—such a soul, which cannot fully immerse itself in the souls of others, which cannot truly empathize with the souls of other human beings—such a soul, as it progresses in esoteric development, perceives itself as a kind of burden. Like a heavy weight, one drags oneself along when, despite remaining indifferent to human suffering and joy, one nevertheless undergoes esoteric development; and one can be certain that the esoteric development remains an external, intellectual one, that one absorbs the spiritual just as one would the teachings of a cookbook or an external science, as soon as one does not feel oneself to be a burden, when, despite one’s development, one cannot develop a compassionate heart toward all human suffering and all human joy.

[ 22 ] That is why it is so beneficial to broaden one’s human interests during one’s occult development, and nothing is actually worse than failing to seek an understanding, as one progresses in esoteric development, of every kind of human feeling, human perception, and human life. This does not, of course, imply the principle—and this must be emphasized again and again—that one must uncritically overlook all the wrongs that occur in the world; for that would be an injustice to the world. But it implies something else: While one may take a certain pleasure in criticizing human failings before one’s esoteric development, this pleasure in criticizing others actually ceases entirely in the course of esoteric development. Who is not familiar in everyday life with the mockers who are so eager to offer a perfectly apt critique of others’ faults? Not that the aptness of judgment regarding human errors must cease, nor that one would under any circumstances condemn—let us say—an act such as that performed by Erasmus of Rotterdam in his book *The Praise of Folly*. No, it can remain entirely justified to be sharp toward the faults that occur in the world; but for someone undergoing esoteric development, it is the case that every rebuke they must utter or put into effect pains them and causes ever more and more pain. And the suffering caused by having to rebuke is something that can also serve as a barometer of esoteric development. The more one can still feel joy when one must reproach or when one must find the world ridiculous, the less one is truly ready to move forward. And one must gradually develop a sense that a life is unfolding within one that allows one to view the world’s follies and errors with a mocking eye and a tear-filled eye, with a wet eye and a dry eye. This inner structuring, this becoming more independent, so to speak, from what was previously mixed together—this, too, is now part of the transformation that the human etheric body undergoes.